On Dating

It's been a while since I've dated, and I'm really out of the scene. Spent the last 2 years juggling school (full-time), working nights & weekends, completing clinical rotations - yadda yadda. Now, I've finally attained my gal, and I'm ready to have a little more fun time.

They say Charlotte is one of the top 10 worst cities for dating. Pair that with the fact that I live 10 miles outside of town, and work in a place surrounded by all women: it's a recipe for disaster when it comes to meeting new people!

post-op

One More Day

One more day of preceptorshp (yay!) and graduating - pinning ceremony on Thursday!

Wow - never thought this day would finally freaking come!

So tired. Haven't been good to myself lately. Doing too much, I think, and I'm forgetting the little (yet oh-so important!) things.

Today I am Thankful

Today I am thankful for:

Super-Plus tampons
Turkey & Dressing
Mr. Dad to cook said turkey
Mom
The fact that Mom's not cooking
Pumpkin cookies
Iron Pills
Orange Juice
The fact that there's an end in sight
(to oh, so many things!)

... and many other things,
which are not going to be listed,
because I need to get ready for work!!

Two by Two..

They say bad things happen in 3's.
Grey's Anatomy says deaths come in 3's & 7's.
They seem to come in twos for me.
Last 3 times ... including last night,
I've had 2 go on the same shift.

I find I'm always introspective
and even a tad melancholy
after I handle the dead.
Told Jeff it's sad that I'm good at it,
but really, I guess it's ok, so long
as I still have the same respect.
Never lose that respect.

Waking up Early

Sometimes it's nice getting up early.
It spares you from having to
listen to the dreadful alarm clock.

Super Tuesday

Super Tuesday.
I voted.
The End.

Hate that I'm so tired. Don't like to sleep this much, it's just all I can do. Scarcely stay awake in class, and it makes me feel guilty. I hope my teachers don't take it personally. I"m sure my fellow students think I'm some kind of lazy-ass fuckup, but whatever. I'm kinda used to people making dumb misjudgments about me.

I miss my friends at Eden Gardens. I think Diane must've been tuned into my wavelength because I was just thinking of them all as I was getting ready for school, and she happened to call and leave a sweet voicemail shortly thereafter. She's the best. I definitely plan to continue my volunteerism over there, the timing is just incredibly sucky right now.

I don't understand why buying yarn costs so much more than buying a blanket. Making a blanket costs $40+ (just using a basic yarn). Blankets these days are $10-20. Just doesn't make sense.

Got the name of my preceptor - need to contact her to see what her schedule lookks like. We can officially begin precepting Friday after class. I promise I won't start that early: I still work 12 hrs Fri & 8 hrs Saturday. Not sure how the hell I'm going to fit this all together - and I'm not gonna lie: it's another source of stress. Whatever. The end ... again.

poems

Ethereal glow
and I'm attracted
like a moth.
Hope I'm prettier, though.
But do butterflies
fly into flames?

___________


Your finger twitches
in your dreams
and I'm hypnotized
by your silent warmth:
skin against skin
my head on your chest,
lulled by the rhythmic
rising and falling.
I could stay right here
forever.

Stage II

Well, final exam over. Passed. Time for stage II of the last semester: preceptorship time. Have class mon-fri from 8-5 this week. Wow. What the hell are they going to teach us!? *sigh* oh well, just keep rolling with the punches.

Still don't know where I'm being sent for my preceptorship (groan) - not that I'm worried, but I'd really just like to peg my schedule down, if at all possible!

Been cold here lately: down to 20's & 30's at night. Right now, 31 degrees according to the weather channel. Freezing. Literally. Don't mind though - here's what I'm enjoying: The smell of the space heather, the weight of blankets on me (probably at least 20 lbs!) and ... my beanie. Love the beanies. May just wear sweats to class tomorrow so I'll be sure to be both warm and comfortable. Some kaluha or brandy would probably be really good right now... I take it back, I want pancakes & some cream sherry. Too bad I have class in the morning.

Final Final

Final exam is in 9hrs & 18 mins. Wow. Studied for about 20 minutes so far. My concentration level/ attention span sucks right now. And even as I write this, I'm distracted by the constant hum of background noise from my CPU. Geesh. I think I'll do ok. I hope so, at least. With the exception of one exam, I've done very well. I failed one test - miserably. I think I mentioned that before here. The other three, I've scored in the 90's, so I've got a pretty solid B.

So tired. Been very dizzy for a while now, and it's starting to get to me. I don't know what it's from, but my assumption is that it's related to my anemia and other female issues. Hopefully it will resolve itself soon. I've been told to double my iron intake, so now I'm taking several times the recommended daily dosage. (Yeouch!) My ferritin (iron stores) levels awere 0 on my lab draw in September. ZERO. (normal is approx 20-150). My ferritin now is like 6 or 7, and my HgB is up from 9.3 to 9.8. My doctor seems to be pleased with the progress. I however, wish we could get it in faster. I'd rather they just give me a unit of RBC's and a mini-bag of iron.

In My Other World

The sky
would be amethyst
and stars
replaced
with dancing fish
glimmering
in the moonlight.

And we'd all
ride to work
in pirate ships
with wheels
looking up into
the mystic
purple
sea-sky!!

After the storm

The sun is peeking out. (From the clouds of yesterday's shitstorm of a day). Thank god for Tola! She made 4A bearable today! It was so awful yesterday, I can't begin to tell you how bad. I wanted to cry. To add to the stress, I started my day (yesterday) by spilling a whole coffeemug full of strawberry oatmeal all over my truck. The latter part of the day, I found I had failed my nursing exam. (When I say failed, I mean FAILED). There went my A.

I still have oatmeal all over my black wool sweater, my purse, & ingrained all through the upholstery & carpet of my truck. I still lost my A, but it's another day, thankfully. And for that, I am happy.

Hell

4A=Hell.
instead of saying
"go to Hell"
from now on,
I think I'll say
"go to 4A!"

You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough...

• Not a chance you're going to see me sitting with a patient in full gown & gloves for my whole shift. I'm in a clean chair, and will gown up PRN!


• My ethics class: I'm calling it my "Stuart Smalley" course!


• So sick of the way some people insincerely pry. If I know you truly don't give a shit, do you honestly think I'm gonna tell you what's up in my life? Yeahhh... no.

Reflective Comparison

In my life, I've been compared to Rayanne from "My So-Called Life", Grace from "Will & Grace", and Sandra Bullock's character from "Miss Congeniality". -- These comparisons were made by my family and closest friends.
Looking at these 3 characters is giving me a little bit of insight on how I'm viewed by those closest to me.

On Surgery: Mom's was a no-go. Try again tomorrow.

10/4/06

Narcs found in an unlocked drawer - unclaimed.
Very bad thing!
Don't know who they belong to.
Good thing I'm honest!

On Surgery: I'm Scared.

Parking

Parking garages were not meant for large vehicles!

Autumn October

Iwth the golden hues cast on buildings, trees, everywhere... even nature knows it is October. And nature, too, is revelling in this glorious change of season!

Wanderings

Because my mind has wandered a bit in the last few weeks...

Just an update or two.

School starts soon. First day is the 23rd. I've read about 1/10th of the assigned reading. Not feeling so hot about that. But I've been kinda working double-time to try and get extra readings crunched in these next two weeks. What can I say, I'd been kinda preoccupied before that.

Had my surgery on Friday, and it went well, I think. They found a tumor the size of a kiwi fruit growing inside the uterine cavity. They were able to remove part of it. I go back at the end of the month for a follow-up. We'll see how that goes. I'm starting to feel better... and by better, I mean, I can stay awake for a full day now. Still feel like my heart is racing and I'm out of breath sometimes, but that should subside as my Hgb rises. I already feel a hundred times better than before.

While lying around so much, I've watched more tv than ever. I'm officially addicted to the Food Network, btw. I loved it before, now I'm addicted to it. My new favorite commercial is the Geico one ... with Little Richard. Geico has the BESTEST marketing ad execs out there today.


You really can't watch that and not lift the corners of you mouth at least a little bit!! :)

I hate my uterus

I told Kace like a week ago that I thought my uterus was angry at me. Now I decided that it hates me. Fine. I hate it back.

Went to the GYN yesterday because I've been bleeding since the 11th. Yes the 11th. I lost track of how many days that is... but it's a damn long time. I'll spare you the disgusting details of all the problems I've been having.

I had my hemoglobin checked while I was there. It was 9.3. No wonder I've been feeling so lethargic lately. So, yes, I'm officially anemic now. I'm on iron pills for the time being. (I'm hoping this will all clear up soon enough). The NP wouldn't let me work last night because of my Hgb. Probably a good thing...

Things are still a mystery, and nobody liked what they saw on my ultrasound yesterday, so I had another appt today: it was a pre-op consult. Sucky.

That's all. If you excuse me, I need to take a nap. I'm due in at work tonight.

Monday- mood: thankful

Mom got in a pretty bad wreck. Totalled her car today. A lady pulled out of a parking lot & mom somehow went under the other lady's car. The cops say it's all the other lady's fault. I'm just thankful she's ok.

About 7 feet short

So, when I got to work last night, there were eleven patients on the floor... and a total of 15 feet. Crazy, no?

Is Bono God? Celeb politics...

For some reason, I have this U2 song stuck in my head "All I Want is You". Not sure why. I tell people I hate U2, but really, for the most part, I like their music, and have even purchased a few of their albums. I think mostly, I just get annoyed at Bono's behavior. Sometimes I wonder if he really believes he is a God.
I really can't knock him. He is a charitable fellow - and he stands up for what he believes in. I think it's a double-edged sword though, celebrities endorsing political views. It's wonderful that they encourage people to enter the world of politics, to follow our government, and speak out. But are they doing more harm than good? I have friends whose votes are heavily influenced by their favorite celebrities' stance. And I don't know how many people (I'm sure the number is incalculable) who vote solely on party labels.
I've said a bazillion times that I think we are soo fortunate for our right to vote and to have a say in our government. I'm also vocal with my accordance in the "don't vote: don't bitch" point-of-view. However, even more dangerous to me, are those that shamelessly throw their vote in whatever direction the wind happens to be blowing. Is it not dangerous to vote - to officially record your stance on government policy- when you haven't even been briefed on it? To choose someone to speak for you, and make decisions for you... when you don't even know their track record?
*All I can say is "You all up in the Kool-Aid, and don't even know the flavor!"
People want to talk about voting reform. Yes, there could be improvements to the system, but why try and reform voting when you don't first have responsible voters? Make informed decisions for ALL aspects of your life, for chrissake!
[/rant]

Left Eye

The L'oreal HIP eyeshadow rocks.
By the way, does taking pictures
of your eyeball EVER get old?
It doesn't for me, at least!

The Devil may wear Prada...

But KD wears scrubs, wifebeaters, & sweats. That's just the way it is.

Went to the theaters & saw this last night.

Was cute. I enjoyed it - not great, but cute.

A ton better than The Breakup, which sucked monumentally.

Got a kick out of the fact that the perfume

that Kara & I wear was in it! (Pink Sugar... mmm)

I got up too early today, and never went back to sleep.

Will most definitely need to be pumping mass caffeine

through my blood later tonight.

Coffee= my friend.

Got a whole bag of New England Blueberry Coffee

just waiting for me to brew and guzzle down later.

Yummm

108/70

That's my blood pressure, not a fraction that needs to be reduced!

Had my GYN appt today. Nothing better than - well, I've been putting it crass: have a stranger scrape my uterus, palpate my breasts, draw blood, and make me pee in a cup. Yucka. And on top of it all, I started my period this afternoon. Way to go... groan.

So I'm looking at the good side of things - at least my blood pressure rocks.

Happy Birthday Grampa.

Or Grandpa, Grumpa, Andy, Nils...
whatever your moniker is, I miss you.
~*~kd~*~

Pissysue Pics

Miss Speed... -ing Ticket!

I went to go see Keri in Georgia the other day. Totally spur of the moment thing. Was on the phone with her, and realized that we'd both had the next several days off... so *shrug* decided to hop in the truck and drive on down.

On the way, I drove through York, and met up with York County's finest. (I don't know how I always manage to do this!!) I got pulled over for speeding. I didn't even KNOW I was speeding, but as soon as I saw the lights flashing, I figured I must've been... I mean, I never get pulled over for anything else! I got a ticket for going 63 in a 45. - I thought I was on the highway, or "interstate" as they call it here. Apparently it was just a road disguised as a highway? That was a $290 ticket. Geez. And to top this off, my proof of insurance was not on me. I had my insurance card, but not the one that has your vehicle # and dates valid. So I got an additional ticket for "failure to provide proof of insurance". THAT was a $400 ticket! (what the hell!?!)

I think I've somehow been born under a bad sign, because somehow speeding tickets seek me out. I've been lucky to elude them for like the last 3 years, but just like the game of Russian Roulette, I knew my number would be coming up soon enough... and here it is. GROAN.

It doesn't help when your last name is Speed. I think that's the single reason I've never gotten a warning. Officers love that shit. Yes, Miss Speed... pulled over for ... Speeding! hardy-freakin-har. So I've got a hot date August 14th - at the York County courthouse. *sigh*

Clark! ... We need you!!

Ok, this morning, I'm hanging out. It's like 7am - raining. I just went out & spun around in the rain (because that's what I do when it rains!) and was sitting on the porch - and out of the corner of the yard, I see a big freakin RAT run. OMG, heebie-jeebies. He did *NOT* need to be running that close to our house!!

So that was pest #1.

NOWWW... Pest #2: Somehow my computer has managed to dip its balls into "Pest Trap" and "Winstall.exe". Two horrid viruses. My desktop is gone, and I can't download any P2P items. I've been working on it for hours, to no avail. It sucks. I'm soo not going to expand on it, though, because it's nacho business what my OS, firewall, virus scanner setup is. (I've got enough troubles - and I'm not completely stupid.)

friggum-fraggum!!

products of boredom!?

3am. I'm on call.
Second night in a row.
Slept all day, because I was supposed to work all night... and I'm not tired. But I have to be pretty quiet since mom & dad have to work in the AM. Ok, so 3am.. We don't have 7-11's to go get slurpees at (what kinda shitty place is this, where the nearest 7-11 is like 2 states away!?) And we don't have 24-hr gyms.
So I putz on the computer.
This is what I came up with last night as a product of boredom:

He could afford to skip a meal

or two... But we already knew that he's soo not Ghandi-like! Yes, Saddam Hussein. In custody - had decided to go on hunger strike. Hussein was on hunger strike, upset that one of his lawyers was killed. His huge hunger strike? He skipped lunch! He made sure not to miss his dinner. Ok, how about a big WHATTHEFUCK!? Does that even COUNT as fasting!? Geez - I've been known to skip lunch plenty of times. I guess to him it was a big deal "I gave up my Doritos, man!!"
You can read about it here

Interests

Ok, so I thought this was kinda funny.
Looks downright poetic.
This shitty dating site takes words out of emails
and flags them as "possible interests".
I think I should just write more emails,
and let the program make new poetry for me!

Su-Fi CPR?!?!

Ok, neonatal resuscitation class today. Yay and a yucka all in one. So - what I learned: during chest compressions - there's two methods: a) giving compressions with your thumbs, and b) giving them with 2-fingers.

Well, with the 2-finger method,
you can use EITHER index/middle fingers
OR middle/ring fingers.

and all I could think is: HELLS YEAH
SUper-FInger!!

which, btw, is much more amusing than
thinking about babies born blue.

Confession

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned..
Who knows how long it's been since my last confession. However, this evening, on the way to the store, just went out to buy some more tape (so I could finish painting the kitchen without making a mess all over your crown mouldings & stuff) in the rush to get there, I totally desecrated that cool rock that lights up with the house number on it. You know which one - I bought it for you for Christmas a couple years back. Well I smooshed it to pieces. I bought a new light up sign, but I know it's not the same. I know you won't be angry, however I sincerely hope you don't harass me too much for knocking down yet ANOTHER item in the yard.

PS. I know you think I'm responsible for more, but I've only knocked down ONE of the Malibu lights. So this makes number TWO of things I've destroyed in the front yard. Keep that in mind, please.

Beef... it's what's for dinner

Ohmygod, if only you knew how badly I'm craving a burger right now. Those of you that know me real well know how RARELY I eat red meat, let alone sitting and chowing on a burger. But mmm, damn. What I wouldn't do for a double double with cheese, fried onions, no tomato. I'd probably orgasm from the sheer delight of it!

loathing

I hate Verizon Wireless with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns.

Yuckas

(not an all-inclusive list)

• Tomatoes
• Curry
• Lawn Gnomes
• Local commercials
• fish (the kind you eat)
• sunburns
• laundry
• allergies
• diets
• that Burger King guy
• Nutra-Sweet (and other fake sugars)
• crickets

The Agnostic

I don't believe in heaven
And I don't believe in hell
But for some reason, I'm drawn
to the idea of purgatory,
that waiting, staging time
between worlds.

I think they're there, watching
me and listening to me as I
clean their still-warm bodies.
Some in shock and horror,
some smiling down,
following me around the room.

And so, I often talk to them-
but then again, maybe it's just
to myself and the figments
of my imagination.

walls

I am sick of crying. Sick of being emotional. Sick of being on my period.

I don't like to let my guard down. Somehow I've dropped that wall and I'm terrified now, with my defenses gone.

But the walls were invisible, and I don't think he realizes that they were ever there -

Miss Blue

Got that song in my head today. Don't know why. Just do. Got it in the CD player right now. It's by Filter, on their album "Title of Record". Tried to find a clip of it for your listening pleasure, but I guess it was never released as a single, because it's like nowhere.. Here's the lyrics, though.

Relay for Life was tonight. I really wanted to go, but I'm having a rough night. Every month I'm down for the count at least 1-2 days. :(

Worked last night.. Stayed up until 1:30 this afternoon trying to clean up the guest bedroom across the hall. That room has become my "closet" of sorts, and I'm not sure what to do.

That's all for now.

Mind spewing...

Decided my brain needs to freeflow again tonight. Going to stick with bulleted points since i've no desire to stay within any grammatical parameters!

• Pulled out my "Physiology Coloring Book" yesterday... Don't really know why, but I love the drawings. Seeing things laid out visually, (or drawing them out myself) really helps me learn. Some of my best notes involve my own renderings. I'll have to scan some in - you can see they're quite helpful at best.... humorous at worst (but that's not so bad either!)
• This evening is laundry night. My 4th load is in the washer as I type this. (Yay me! - this is the point where you, the reader, applaud, dammit!) For those of you who know me, you understand that LAUNDRY is my kryptonite. I loathe it in ways I cannot fully describe. I'm one of those people guilty of owning like eight hundred pairs of underwear just so I don't have to wash them often. I don't understand where this all came from. I don't think I always hated it... I just do now.
• I think I popped yet another verteberae or something crazy on my back. There's a new place that hurts. To the point I actually lied down with a book & a heating pad. I'm usually impervious to this, but I'm getting to the point where I'm highly inflexible. Really considering seeing a chiropractor out here. I miss my Chiropractor from back home. Wish I could make regular visits back to CA for chiropractic, and dentists, etc. I don't trust just anybody, ya know?
• While doing laundry, I came across my new dress. I bought it a couple weeks ago. I thought it looked so awesome (in my words, "i'm bumped up to at least an 8 when i put it on!"). Well, leaving for HK's funeral was kinda last-minute... so I packed the dress. Maybe that wasn't the smartest thing. (Besides the fact that there was probably more cleavage than fashionable at memorial services...) in the same vein as the "funeral skirt" will I forever associate it as such? I think I need to have a hot date to wear it on... one that renders other associations.
• Mamacita & Mr Dad bought me a "room air conditioner" this past weekend. It rocks like you wouldn't believe. It's not a window thing, but a portable unit. It works so much better than the central air here upstairs!
• Tomorrow is Wed. I work again Thursday. I'm LOVING working full time, and still having 4 days off a week. On my days off, I'm actually still keeping up at nights and sleeping in the am/afternoon. Not flip-flopping my days and nights really makes a difference. And not having a test every time I turn around helps too!! I don't think I could ever be a Mon-Fri 9-to-5'er again!
• Finished my designing of the SCQC logo for the state convention. Poor Aunt Denise has been wanting it for a while, but I'd plumb (plum?) forgotten all about it. I hope it goes over well - after all, I did spend a good bit of time on that sucker.
• I've decided that since I've been such a "good girl" - and by that I mean accomplishing all I've set out to do today - I must reward myself with beer. Mmmm... off to the kitchen I go!

Happy Birthday Somebody?

Feel like I'm forgetting someone today. I'm thinking it's someone's birthday, but I can't remember who.

Fell asleep last night with a med-surg book in hand. I was somewhere in in "treatment of pancreatitis" - and next thing I knew, it was morning. So what if I'm on summer vacation? I'm not going to let my mind go further into mush. Sometimes I really wish I'd struggled to learn as a kid - because then I might have at least learned how to study. I'll be honest - nursing school is NOT academically challenging... at least not for me. It just takes a lot of time. I haven't studied much. The only course I really read a lot for was maternity nursing. That's it. I'm not proud of it; it's just the truth.

Cleaned the house today. Swept, dusted, vacuumed, etc. Just call me Hazel. Felt productive... Wonder how long this'll last. I think I'm going to need to pick up some extra shifts at work. There's only so much one can do between now & the end of August. Boredom would prevail way too quickly. (Believe me, I'm not gonna study that much!) Besides, I'd like to take a trip back to CA, & I could really use come cash for it.

On death & HK

• The death dinner: it's been 3 days & I haven't had any fried chicken yet. But I've been craving Mexican. And meat. Lots of meat.
• I remember HK hated Chinese food. I think he's the only one. Who the hell else hates Chinese food?
• Mom & Dad are pulling out pics. Some of them & honestly can't tell which is HK & which is my father.
• I told dad on Sat, "That's your twin with four years separating you." He said, "I know."
• I don't know what I'd do if I'd lost my sibling. I don't really want to think about it.
• Dad doesn't want to think about the possibility of mom going. He said he didn't plan on going first because he's 12 years older. To which I responded, "I don't think anybody planned on Meghan Gumbelevicius going at eighteen years old!" We shared a moment of silence after that. ~~ I still am saddened by Meghan's death, & feel she was gone way too soon. Though I never call or write, I think about Karin, Dr John, & Carol on a pretty regular basis.
• I need to tell Keri about my funeral skirt. It's the cream, tan & black plaid one. I gave it to her with a bunch of "nice" clothes that I don't wear anymore. I've worn it to like 3 or 4 funerals - had to take it out of circulation because after a while you tend to see the same people at these events (think Four Weddings & a Funeral) - well to wear the same damn skirt every time you see some of these people - it just gets old kinda fast. But I still have to tell Keri to wear it on Wed - for HK - for me.
• I love that HK had such great humor.
• I am so relieved to know that Kirven (K4) has made peace with him.
• When I think of HK, I think of my dad; I told dad that. I said "you guys are exactly alike", to which dad replied, "Except HK married the wrong bitch."
• Wonder if I'll see Matthew. Wonder if Matthew will talk about HK coughing.
• Wonder if Johanna will pass out at her hudband's service the way she did at Uncle Bob's?
• Wonder if Uncle Bob was there to welcome HK up at the pearly gates. Wonder if HK said, "Oh Shit, even in Death I can't get way from my family!"

Adieu

I had a wonderful friday night. Went out with a friend from work & a couple of her friends. Got home at 7am, and after I hit the showers, I went straight to sleep. Had a blast... really. Lots of fun stories, but they were overshadowed Saturday. I slept the majority of the day Sat, which was good, since I had to work Sat night, so I stayed on a night schedule. I vaguely remember hearing my cell phone ringing at 2pm, saw it was mom, & I silenced the phone because I was still sleeping. When I woke up just before 5pm, I saw 2 messages on the machine. Both were from dad's relatives, saying "call me". I knew something was wrong. Dad was outside in the garden visiting with our neighbor. I said, "Dad, you need to come here... I think something happened!".
... Uncle HK, Dad's brother, passed away. I'd like to go on, but I'm not really in the mood to sit and type. I'll have to clear up my thoughts (streamline them, you know) and get back to you.

Unconscious Mutterings 04/25

1. Rising :: Sun
2. Third ::Eye Blind?
3. Disruptive :: Really bad behavior
4. Surround :: Sound.. THX?
5. Distant :: Cold (as in behavior, not temperature)
6. Suction :: NG tube
7. Fried :: Ham (stupid song we sang in 3rd grade. Geez, I was just singing that the other day!)
8. Nuggets ::"Like sharpened knives through Chicken McNuggets" (Cake song)
9. Clip :: News story
10. San Antonio ::If it weren't for the ex living there, I'd really like that city!

word list provided by Unconscious Mutterings.

It's that time again

Ages, once again, since I've written. Keep having these sporadic thoughts.. really cool or strange things that I think of & they pop in my head - and I say I'm gonna blog that! Only to forget about it moments later.
Stayed home from work today. Notsomuch that I was sick, but that I feel like absolute shit. (can you say menorrhagia!?) I'm practically worthless at this time each month. I know that something's not right, and I've been putting it off for a while. Actually had an appt last month, only to start bleeding early, and had to cancel it. I don't like staying home - esp when this means 12 hours of not being paid. School will be out in like 2 weeks, so my schedule will free up a lot & hopefully I can get myself checked out. In the meantime, though, I'm curled up with a heating pad, sleeping constantly, waking only to feed myself Aleve, and make trips to the bathroom. Blehhh..

Easter

We had a patient die this morning - about 10 minutes before shift change. We knew it was coming. I guess Easter is a good day to go. She looked like the cryptkeeper, which was really freaky... but otherwise, it was a peaceful experience. Sometimes, you walk away feeling kinda good about the situation. This was one of those.
(*note: just because you feel good about it, does NOT mean you enjoy it.. i'm sure you understand - sometimes when it happens, you're comfortable wiht the fact that it is meant to be.)

soo not right

but yet i laughed and wanted to repost it as soon as i saw it!!

Pissed

I don't know... pissed off, pissed on. They both suck. Emily asked me today which was worse... I think it depends on the degree of the pissing.

Long overdue

lots of things that are long overdue... but for now I'll tackle the fact that I haven't really written shit on this blog in ages. Not that nothing is going on, it just kinda works out that way that sometimes you don't put any time into blabbering. Of course, I've got an exam tomorrow... this could be one of the reasons I'm here blogging. Procrastination is a fine thing!

Jeff's gotten me hooked on this myspace thing too. *sigh* It's like crack, I tell you!! First time I logged on, I swear I probably spent four hours going through profiles and looking at boys! *yeah, lol... well the boys on other sites got kinda old, so at least it was new faces! :) I know, what a freakin dork. You'd do it too. Go 'head... login ... see what I mean. But don't say I didn't warn you... MySpace Anonymous, here I come!! (My name is AKAKatydid, and I'm an addict!)

School is going well - so far, at least. Got my results back from my Psych midterm. Was really worrying about that one, but somehow I got an A. (Don't know HOW I managed that... because I really thought I bombed it) It was a low A, but what the hell... An A was a LOT higher that I expected. (And would settle with a C perfectly fine, thankyou - but don't tell Dr. Whatshername that!)

So glad to be on my pediatric rotation - because it's a more leisurely pace class. Not that it doesn't come with any challenges, but it's just not as brutal as Med-Surg II. Before spring break, I spent a day in the PICU and a day in a pediatricians office. Both experiences I enjoyed - but I will say, I found the PICU to be quite heartbreaking. So much tragedy. Some of the stuff I really couldn't get out of my head. I kinda knew from day one that my heart was with old people, and the more I'm around the young'ns the more i'm positive that I don't belong anywhere near kids ~ at least not as a career. (Still waiting on that niece/or nephew, though *ahem* sis!)

Put some pictures up from my trip to Minnesota. I think I posted that earlier, but I don't remember if I linked any of the pics. The album is here. Cannot believe how un-photogenic I am!! Dan's right... I really didn't have that stomach last time he saw me. (groan, yeah, i feel sensitive about it too!) - Welcome to fucking nursing school. Weight gain can be completely explained as the body's response to stress. (yes, I learned this in physiology - no I'm not BS'in this one!) The body goes into stress, so therefore, it stays in fight-or-flight mode. When it does this, it saves all the calories/energy - because it might need it for later... or some shit like that. I don't remember the particulars, because I didn't do particularly well in physiology! LOL.

Ok, screwing around time is over for now... I do have an exam tomorrow on Pediatric Mathematics. yay - two of my most favorite subjects.. [/sarcasm]

Unconscious Mutterings 03/16

1. Displacement:: lost homes &/or jobs
2. Grease monkey:: wrenches?
3. Vacancy:: Bates Motel
4. Conquer:: King
5. Payroll:: sucks!
6. Personal:: assistant
7. Housewife:: Somebody's Bitch!
8. Lateral:: vastus lateralis
9. Tissue:: muscles
10. Multiplication:: I suck - calculator, please!

word list provided by Unconscious Mutterings.

Thoughts on the weekend

Ok, so I really want to write all about my weekend... (I had a blast, by the way!) but I just don't have the energy. Pictures have been uploaded to my photosite account, but that's all for now. I'm busy playing computer cleanup today. Cleaning out files, & cleaning up some folder-upon-folder damn directories.

Besides, it's probably nunya anyway!

Said the soothsayer to Caesar!

(Beware the ides of March!)

Learned something new today: if you have a big fat giant centepede crawling in your tub... hairspray will NOT kill it. However, drowning it in a big pile of foam from Dow Scrubbing Bubbles WILL!

quiz day!

Kendra -- [noun]: Tastes like fried chicken 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Your 2005 Song Is

Beverly Hills by Weezer "My automobile is a piece of crap My fashion sense is a little whack And my friends are just as screwy as me" You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style!

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

You Are Pecan Pie Soda

Sweet, but totally nuts

What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

XL Mania

Superbowl sunday.
My teacher says superbowl is the highest incidence of spousal abuse - great... As I pull my shift in the state that already has the highest rates of domestic violence.
Set the game to record - though it's just not the same as hanging out watching it. Panthers didn't make it, & no Broncos, so I'm kinda unenthused with the teams... though I'd really love to see the Seahawks cream 'em! Mostly because Steelers remind me too much of Raiders fans: rough, violent, & dumb. So what if I said it. It's the rule, not the exception.

Saw a deformed penis on a man during clinicals this past week. I'll spare ya the details, but it's the stuff nightmares would be made of! (His wife must really love him! ~ Remember that song "She likes Me for Me"? Yeah - that'll fit as a good theme!!)

Huge paper due Wednesday, along with an exam. Behind on everything. Have only completed like 1 of my computer modules. Probably about a dozen more to do. ANyone willing to take some tests or write some papers for me?

Rhinovirus

I think I've got the Rhinovirus.
Don't worry... I'll be ok. 100% recuperation will come, but meanwhile I'm kinda miserable. Beware! You are at risk of catching this too!! Want to learn more about the Rhinovirus? You can even check out its pokemon-style battle card here.

Thoughts on the weekend

Hot water makes my heart beat faster & my blood pressure rise. But a super-hot soak in a bubble bath scented courtesy of Victoria's Secret is exactly what does the trick in getting rid of the stench of stale urine and necrotic flesh off your skin and out of your brain.

It's always hard zipping up a body bag... I guess it just doesn't get easier? But then again, I don't ever want to get to the point where it becomes old hat and no big deal. I remember just about everybody who has passed on our floor, and the day I stop giving due reverence to the freshly departed, you need to get me the hell off of the floor. Took over 4 hours for her family to show up and seemed annoyed that we interrupted their sleep ... yeah, so what if you were just getting ready to lie down? Where have you been all day? And don't be so annoyed that we want you to come down - for god's sake, thisu is your mother! Her mouth was locked wide open, and her face sunken in, but she looked so much better than she did alive. No more tubes everywhere, and no more "twitching" (seizing, if you ask me!)

It was a different one that had the stench. Could smell it all through the halls. We had quite a few bad ones last night, but "Madame M" takes the cake. 2 wound vacs sucking out blood and exudate off her, along with countless large spots of dead black flesh. She came from home. The neglect was so obvious, I wanted to cry. I wished she'd been made a DNR - not that it speeds up the dying process, but I think the plan of care is generally more centered around comfort & dignity - which "M" obviously needs. Dubious "M" will ever rejuvinate, and the care she is getting at home is downright criminal. I wish there were more prosecutions of elder abuse.

That's all for now... got lots floating around in my mind, but getting the upfront issues off my chest... going to nap now.

He da debil

if Ray Nagin isn't the devil incarnate, than he must be one of his spawns.

Just a little thought for the day.

Halitosis and the Half Blood Prince

Finally finished the Half-Blood Prince. Had been putting it off for months because I had heard "The spoiler" and wanted to put off the tragedies for as long as possible. (Somehow thinking that if I didn't get to it, it wouldn't happen!) Denial is not just a river in Egypt!

I believe you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their bookshelves - or lack thereof. (hmm.. wonder if i need to post a pic of mine?)

In an old-timey music mood. Listening to the 80's alternative station - Echo & The Bunnymen, The Primitives.. mmm good stuff. Was on a classic punk kick last week, listening to The Ramones, Dead Milkmen, etc. Who knows what it'll be next time. Maybe I'll bust out my Pavoratti collection again!

Writing 2006 has come quite naturally to me - a first. Usually I have to correct myself quite a bit. Guess I'm just really ready for this year!

Keep burping onions. Went to Sake Express and had a veggie plate for lunch. The onions were fierce! And let me tell you: Toothbrushing, Flossing, & Listerine can't kill the onion when its gases are floating up the alimentary canal!

Old-School Double Spacing

Full moon at the PMC and only one pregnant woman made it up our way? Udderly amazing. 'Twas - and I can only safely say this now, after a Fri the 13th AND a full moon - a nice quiet weekend.

Huge exam hell this coming Wednesday. I've got a lot to study. Even in these first couple days, this nursing class has been quite a humbling experience. So far I have been pretty lucky; most of my studying has been in A&P or Micro - not much nsg. I've got a sinking feeling, though, that's all going to change this semester!

Got my first bill for this semester. So far they say I owe $1,515. Of course, I don't believe these bills. Gotta love Queens and their billing department. (Insert big eyeroll here!) Had to cut a check last semester because tuition cost even more than my loans would supply. You can bet your ass that check was written very begrudgingly! Hoping to at least break even after loans & scholarships.

What's this thing now where proper typing etiquette does not require two spaces at the end of each sentence? Something about the fact that computers can automatically calibrate the spacing, and therefore you are only supposed to put one space? No freaking way. This is one I am going to take a stand on. Every sentence I think I've ever typed had 2 spaces at the end; it's just the way I was taught. I guess I'm officially old school? Will continue to 2-space 'em, and let the computers adjust accordingly.

That song Grillz is my newest love-to-hate. I think mostly because I hate the whole gold-tooth thing... yucka. Nothing like a beautiful smile with nice healthy teeth!

Go Panthers! Will probably be sleeping through the game - or at least part of it (starts at 4, I think) but would love to see them take it all the way. Didn't care one way or another about them when I first moved here, but they've kinda grown on me!

Friday the 13th

Didn't even realize that there was a Fri the 13th this month.... Just realized it first thing this morning as I was getting ready for school. - And then, wouldn't ya know, as I'm leaving the neighborhood to go to school - there's 2 black cats fighting and chasing each other right in front of me. So far it's been all right - but I'm hoping it stays status quo ... Here's to hoping for a good day!

Brokeback Mountain

Two words: LOVED IT!
Saw it at the only theater in Charlotte that's playing it... people actually drove all the way from Columbia to see it. Been out for a while, but it just premiered here this weekend. Can't believe nobody is showing this movie; it's excellent. Jake Gyllenhall is good, but OMFG... Heath Ledger. Never thought much of him as more than just a pretty face. Definitely changed my mind.

Broccoli

Last night around 2am, I started getting an itching for something to eat. Felt like we had nothing in the house... except stale bread & tons of meat. Ick. Found a pkg of fresh broccoli crowns I bough a while back , & figured I'd eat that before it went bad. It was 2 crowns, & I steamed it all... and OMG... ATE it all! The package said it was approx 1lb. (Holy WOW -really? A full pound of broccoli!?) It made a heaping bowlful. And let me tell you, it was sooooo good! No cheese, no butter, just broccoli... mmm!

I can only imagine how much gas I produced while I slept. (Bet that could fuel a power plant too when turkey crap runs low?)

Cuddlewhores & Turkey Crap

Earlier this evening I spent an hour & a half on the phone with Dan. OMG, I so miss the guy! Haven't talked to him in like 3 friggin' years!! Was thinking about him & Jeff the other day & Googled 'em. Was so excited to hear back from Dan.

Dan is my little cuddlewhore, and I am his. *(As mentioned before, plenty of people I know IRL read this sucker, so let me clarify:) No, we've never slept together - at least not like that! (eew! I know where that thing has been!!) But we have cuddled & slept together like that plenty of times.
It was funny - it's been so long, but it truly felt like we were able to jump right back to old times. You know that's when things are cool. I've been pretty fortunate to be able to reconnect with a few people from wayback in the past year.

Anyway, so Dan's out in Minnesota building a power plant fueled by turkey crap. (I didn't believe it either!!) Thinking about visiting him. I've never been that far North, & I think I'd have a shitload of fun! (ha! very punny!) If i could hop on a plane right away, I probably would - before I get a chance to stop and think about it.

Except for Aunt Margo, I haven't seen anyone from back home since I've been here, & I'm really missing CA - the family/friends, the culture, the foods, the fact that stores & banks are actually open in hours convenient for their clients! Was thinking about taking a trip back home over the summer, but I'm not making any definite plans ... will wait and see. (OMG, I want some sourdough toast ... Grandma-Style right now... sooo bad!)

Another one to break!

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Pick my nose at stop lights. Get your resolution here

Go 'head... click on it... see what your resolution is gonna be!

Happy New Year - 2006

They say that whatever you do on the first is a sign of what's to come for the rest of the year - which, I think is why mom usually wanted us to clean and do productive things ... I always felt it'd be better spent sleeping - a LOT.

Well, if such superstitions are true, then my year will be just bloody grand! I rang in the new year working.... on the psych ward, on suicide watch!

While i was on watch, I took the time to reflect on the past year... seems all the media has their own little spin on the "Year in Review"... i figure I'd kinda do the same.

Things I've Learned in 2005:

• What an esophagogastroduodenoscopy is.
• How to make potato soup
• Sudoku
• My way around town ... kinda
• Wallpaper is evil and is to be avoided at all costs
• Stephen Hawking wasn't always in a wheelchair
• Breastfeeding basics (don't ask!)
• ... and a lot of other shit I can't think of. Lots of nursing stuff, but don't want to bore everyone with that stuff.