Clark! ... We need you!!

Ok, this morning, I'm hanging out. It's like 7am - raining. I just went out & spun around in the rain (because that's what I do when it rains!) and was sitting on the porch - and out of the corner of the yard, I see a big freakin RAT run. OMG, heebie-jeebies. He did *NOT* need to be running that close to our house!!

So that was pest #1.

NOWWW... Pest #2: Somehow my computer has managed to dip its balls into "Pest Trap" and "Winstall.exe". Two horrid viruses. My desktop is gone, and I can't download any P2P items. I've been working on it for hours, to no avail. It sucks. I'm soo not going to expand on it, though, because it's nacho business what my OS, firewall, virus scanner setup is. (I've got enough troubles - and I'm not completely stupid.)

friggum-fraggum!!

products of boredom!?

3am. I'm on call.
Second night in a row.
Slept all day, because I was supposed to work all night... and I'm not tired. But I have to be pretty quiet since mom & dad have to work in the AM. Ok, so 3am.. We don't have 7-11's to go get slurpees at (what kinda shitty place is this, where the nearest 7-11 is like 2 states away!?) And we don't have 24-hr gyms.
So I putz on the computer.
This is what I came up with last night as a product of boredom:

He could afford to skip a meal

or two... But we already knew that he's soo not Ghandi-like! Yes, Saddam Hussein. In custody - had decided to go on hunger strike. Hussein was on hunger strike, upset that one of his lawyers was killed. His huge hunger strike? He skipped lunch! He made sure not to miss his dinner. Ok, how about a big WHATTHEFUCK!? Does that even COUNT as fasting!? Geez - I've been known to skip lunch plenty of times. I guess to him it was a big deal "I gave up my Doritos, man!!"
You can read about it here

Interests

Ok, so I thought this was kinda funny.
Looks downright poetic.
This shitty dating site takes words out of emails
and flags them as "possible interests".
I think I should just write more emails,
and let the program make new poetry for me!

Su-Fi CPR?!?!

Ok, neonatal resuscitation class today. Yay and a yucka all in one. So - what I learned: during chest compressions - there's two methods: a) giving compressions with your thumbs, and b) giving them with 2-fingers.

Well, with the 2-finger method,
you can use EITHER index/middle fingers
OR middle/ring fingers.

and all I could think is: HELLS YEAH
SUper-FInger!!

which, btw, is much more amusing than
thinking about babies born blue.

Confession

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned..
Who knows how long it's been since my last confession. However, this evening, on the way to the store, just went out to buy some more tape (so I could finish painting the kitchen without making a mess all over your crown mouldings & stuff) in the rush to get there, I totally desecrated that cool rock that lights up with the house number on it. You know which one - I bought it for you for Christmas a couple years back. Well I smooshed it to pieces. I bought a new light up sign, but I know it's not the same. I know you won't be angry, however I sincerely hope you don't harass me too much for knocking down yet ANOTHER item in the yard.

PS. I know you think I'm responsible for more, but I've only knocked down ONE of the Malibu lights. So this makes number TWO of things I've destroyed in the front yard. Keep that in mind, please.

Beef... it's what's for dinner

Ohmygod, if only you knew how badly I'm craving a burger right now. Those of you that know me real well know how RARELY I eat red meat, let alone sitting and chowing on a burger. But mmm, damn. What I wouldn't do for a double double with cheese, fried onions, no tomato. I'd probably orgasm from the sheer delight of it!