It's Never OK

So, I just read an article about a law passed in Michigan state to prevent bullying, yet turning their back to bullying when done under certain circumstances. This is the shit that we come up with to "protect" our children? We elect these people and pay them to represent us? It sickens me. Truly.

The GOP pushed through an amended bill, SB 137, which does nothing advocates have pushed for — including reporting requirements and enumeration, or listing, of protected classes. In addition, the legislation provides an exception which allows bullying based on “moral convictions.”

The full language of the insert is: “This section does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil and parent or guardian.” (Read article here)

I'm not sure I understand how adults can deem a religious exception to tormenting other children. Bullying is never ok. I guess this was decided as acceptable by the same people that start holy wars and the like.

Michigan senator Gretchen Whitmer had some harsh, and powerful words after this, and I want to stand up and applaud her. I don't post videos often (not really sure why) but this one is worth a moment.

Sounds + Stupid.

Sounds I love:
Trains
Rain
Birds
Thunder
Gentle snoring.

ps. not fired. Not even in trouble. Message was twisted BIG TIME by the time it got to me. Long story. Slightly inebriated, & don't feel like getting into it.

Hm

So, I'm wondering if I"m going to wind up fired today. Meeting with the interim & new permanent M/S director "to discuss a patient care issue." It's a 1:1 meeting, & I'm coming in on my day off -- this can not be a good thing.

Orientees, Time Changes, and Rock-hard WHAT?

Ugh - my orientee just isn't getting it. She's got lots of nursing experience, but she clearly does not take well to change- and I'm not sure how to fix it. Mostly, I think it's her own self-confidence. First, she thinks she knows it all already and doesn't want to be told anything, then she goes and makes some dumb-ass mistake and sulks/beats herself up about it. She created a discrepancy in a controlled med count by not paying attention, and even four heads put together, we really aren't sure how to fix it -- and she doesn't even know how she did it! She also threw away a schedule-II narcotic before ever administering it to a patient. Ugh. With both of these happening so quickly together (like 1 hr apart) she's lucky nobody made her pee in a cup.

Read in a chart last night:
"Patient with rock-hard vagina. Urethra not seen, but palpated."
My thoughts: (1) um, ew. (2) WTF?
(I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.)


Time Change: That extra hour of sleep is a FALLACY to those of us who had to work. To us, it was just another hour of work!

Tone-Deaf.

It's official - I'm tone-deaf. (Like that comes as any surprise to anybody who knows me well.)

I took a test online ran by a university that actually tests for tone-deafness & conducts research on the topic. Wish I could remember the name of the school; I should've paid better attention, but I was more interested in hopping to the test. So, the test I took was pretty interesting. It was three parts, and it tests a few different aspects.

The first: Can you tell if two similar melodies are the same? It plays two short melodies (maybe 8-10 notes each?) and you have to identify whether they are the same or different. I got a 73% on this test. This means 27% of the time I can't tell whether there's a change in tune! -- I probably would have scored much, much lower on this test, except that several of the notes, when played by my speakers, made stuff on my desk vibrate. If the stuff didn't vibrate in the same way the second time around, I knew it was different. Yeah, I guess you could say I totally cheated on that portion. Most of them I couldn't tell the difference at all, and I really tuned into how the objects on my desk were vibrating. I wonder what I would score if I actually wore headphones that would prevent outside influence.... Nevermind; I don't think I'd want to know!

The second part of the test was to identify melodies that had an incongruous rhythm. I did ok, but not super great on that section - 82%. I know I have no rhythm of my own, but I guess most of the time, I can identify when something isn't right.

The third part was the worst!! They played a melody, and you had to guess identify whether or not there was an out-of-tune note in the sequence. The notes that made the things on my desk vibrate couldn't help me now! Save for 1 or 2 melodies, none of them sounded off to me. I found myself feeling futile, and randomly guessing. "What the hell does out-of-tune sound like?" I started asking myself, because all the melodies sounded pretty ok to me! I scored somewhere in the 60% mark. Considering it's a 50/50 question, you can pretty well chalk that up to fail.

I don't really have any insights to add, or any thoughts abouth this - at least not at this juncture. Just the facts, ma'am.

ps. the music notes at the top are from a font called ToneDeaf.

You can find the font for free here. You're welcome.

New-Vember

How the heck did it get to be November?
October was such a busy month. My dance card was crazy-full. I've spent the last 2 days mostly blissfully crawled under a rock. (Gone out twice, but nothing at the pace I'd been running the last several weeks.) I knew I had to slow down when I actually had a breakdown and cried because of sheer exhaustion. Yes, I actually reverted to my 2-year-old self, and cried. When my dad asked what was wrong, all I could say was, "I'm tired!" (It's ok, I can laugh at it now, but it wasn't funny at the time.)

Great one-liners:
"Don't eat that! Ma'am, that's not a chocolate bar.. that's your hand!" - Teri, to her demented patient.
"It smelled of dust and oldness inside." - Nikki

More on my brain, but too tired to continue...

October Celebrations

I'm so excited about my Halloween costume this year!

Guess what I'm gonna be? I'll give you a hint...

Yes!! Flo - the Progressive girl!!
Started working on my costume on Friday - can't wait. It's soo gonna rock.

So, 31 days in October - I think in the spirit of Oct, I'm going to do 31 horror flicks. I guess I'm going to play a little catch-up since it's the 3rd. That's ok, with my schedule, I'll have to do a few mini-marathons.

Movie #1: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
Spinal Tap style horror/mockumentary. I love movies that don't take themselves too seriously, and this one does not disappoint. Low on the gore and suspense, but the spoof factor gets points.

Currently watching:
Movie #2: Child's Play
Can't believe I've never actually seen this one. I think the only ones in this series I've seen are #3, and Bride of Chucky (which I'm really not sure I've even watched in its entirety.) It's stuck rebuffering in the last 15 mins of the movie -- making it pretty anticlimactic. (Can I call it that? Doesn't it have to build up to a climax to be anticlimactic?) I'm not sure how this movie was able to spawn so many sequels. Then again, look at Leprechaun.

... and next up
Movie #3 Let Me In
I think I'm going to try and make it so that all 31 movies are ones I haven't seen yet. If I got my hands on the Nightmare On Elm Street series, I'd probably watch the whole franchise again in a weekend, but I think since I started this adventure by watching flicks I haven't seen, I might as well stick with the same. I loved the original movie Let Me In was based on, Let the Right One In - a Norwegian film. It was visually beautiful, and I wonder if its American counterpart will do it any justice. Regardless, I'm sure it'll be better than Child's Play.

My Letter is S

Things I love:
Sleep
Sister
Smiles
Snorts
Speeds
Sunsets
Solitude
Sarcasm
Seashells
Sourdough
Serendipity
Sugar Skulls
Summer Storms
Shane Scully Series
Strawberry Shortcake

*also: Super Grover, Seuss' Sleep Book, Sixteen Candles but they didn't seem to fit in my pattern.

Your Day Will Turn

Your day will turn in the same direction as the corners of your mouth.
I've loved that quote since I first saw it. Finally decided I was going to paint it. I made this painting to hang in my kitchen - it's HUGE (48" tall, by 24" wide) and matches my kitchen perfectly. I used some of the leftover paint from my kitchen walls (the blue & yellow), then added touches of green, and silver spray paint. (Looks gray in the photo, but it's silver.) It took a lot of time to make something that looks so simple, but it was worth it. And I enjoyed every bit of the process. (except maybe getting stray silver spray paint on the floor, but oh well!)

Bah

Saved a lady's life last night.
Why don't I feel better about it all?

Goal

Goal for today:
Finish ONE THING.
So many unfinished projects, piles in my house - ugh.
Got a LOT going on this week, so won't have time later.
MUST FINISH AT LEAST ONE THING TODAY.

Anal Bleaching

Yeah, that really exists. No joke; Google it.
I remember hearing about it back when I lived in LA, and thinking how gross. It came up in discussion last night at work. (God knows how we get onto these topics. I believe this one started with us talking about labiaplasties, and how we got onto THAT topic is anybody's guess.) So, on anal bleaching -- All I can think is who the hell looks at their asshole and thinks, "Wow, this is TOO DARK. Hmm, maybe I'll put some caustic chemicals on my anus to bleach it."

I also got to give credit to the people that get that done... because, seriously, of all the things you need to "make prettier" on yourself, if your anus is up on the top of the list, you must be pretty damn perfect. Freaks.

Awful Fussy

I love old people. They have no shame in what they say, especially when they're confused. I took care of the cutest little old guy this week. Two nights in a row, we pretty much had a variation on the same conversation -

It went a bit like this: I go to give his meds, and ask his name & birth date - then tell him we share the same birthday, but not the same year. Both nights, he laughs and tells me he doesn't think I'd be born the same year as him. He asks what year I was born in, and I ask what year he thinks I was born. (Hey, I may be setting myself up for a slam, but I have fun with these people!) First night, his response was 1948, the second night it was 1943. Both times, I laugh and ask him how old he thinks I am. First night, he said "about thirty." Second night, he said, "I don't know, about 18?" I laughed and told him, "I like you!" He responded with a laugh, and said, "Well, I must've said something right, then!"

On night two, I had to stay and help him get out of bed to pee. Our conversation continued and went a little like this:
Him: What's your husband do?
Me: What husband?
Him: [shocked look on his face] You don't have a husband!? Why not?
Me: [shrug] Just haven't found the right one yet.
Him: Well, you must be awful fussy.
Me: [chuckle] I guess so. Weren't you when you were picking your wife?
Him: [scrunches up face] NO!!!!

Seriously, I could just eat the guy up, he was so cute.

Help - My Toe is Missing!

Ok, not really, but... I had this patient come in to the hospital with that problem. It was a bad night, and I was super busy, so I wasn't really looking forward to ANOTHER admission. The ED faxed the paperwork to our floor before the patient came up, and his reason for admission was just staring out at me in bold caps like some sort of bad joke:

"PATIENT HAD SURGERY ON R GREAT TOE 2 WEEKS AGO. REALIZED TODAY THAT TOE WAS MISSING."

What!?! That's not exactly what happened, but that's exactly what they wrote. And in a way, the toe DID fall off, but that's another story. I often say "We laugh so we don't cry," and this little number prevented me from a few tears. Even the patient's surgeon got a chuckle out of that one.. I'm sure he needed a laugh, too.

Ramblings

So overdue for a post... haven't written anything in a long while. Neglecting writing altogether, not just on the blog, and I'm feeling out of touch in that respect.

And, of course, my head has been too full for too long. I realize that writing can sort out the fuzziness, quiet the incessant thoughts by just giving voice to them -- Those feelings that are just circling, usually just shy of consciousness. Some thoughts that've been plaguing me - in random short bursts. Numbered, but no particular order:

1. I know I've got mad nursing skills, and I'm very confident in my abilities, but it still makes me a little nervous when I'm the most experienced nurse on the unit.

2. I've got a nurse friend that's going to die soon. She's a damn good nurse. Not everybody got along with her, but I did. Need to make a point to say goodbye before it's really goodbye. Last year a nurse that was a mentor to me died - I didn't even know she was sick until after she was gone. She didn't tell many people, and she holed herself in, not letting anybody see her or help take care of her. We nurses are a self-reliant stubborn bunch. We aren't supposed to be sick, let alone die. We are the ones that save others' lives. We fix everybody.

3. Am I the only person that loves both country music and New Wave/ post-punk? I might be.

4. I'm very happy single, but I'm sure things could be better. Love is wonderful. I wonder if I'll ever find someone. I'm staunchly opposed to just settling with someone if there is no magic. I haven't even felt an iota of that certain je ne sais in ages. One could say I'm painting myself into this corner, but I'm still open to possibilities --- just not reaching for them lately.

5. I haven't had a solid 8hrs of uninterrupted sleep in I don't even KNOW how long.... Even when I have the opportunity. At the most, I can make about 5, and I've been feeling constantly sleep deprived. Tried Melatonin for the first time 2 weeks ago. I slept... A LOT. Grand total of about 14hrs. It wasn't uninterrupted, and i'm not sure how rested I really felt .... I woke up a few times from people calling, or knocking on the door, and went right back to sleep. I woke in a fog, and my back sure hurt from laying down for that long.

6. I'm thankful for my longtime friends that know and appreciate my true introverted nature... They allow me to live under rocks for weeks and months at a time, and come out to play every once in a while. Because I'm NOT shy, I lack a brain-to mouth filter, and I have no social awkwardness, people think I'm an extrovert... I'm so not. I'm a happy homebody that cherishes time alone. I am wary/ distrustful of people that don't enjoy being alone with themselves. If you're not good enough company for yourself, why would I want to hang around you?