On Giving Thanks

I don't need a holiday to remind myself to be thankful. For the past several months, I've tried to make a point to blog about the "little" things I'm thankful for - because I've always said it's the little things that matter. (Check my "Thankful" labels if you wanna see 'em).

Big things today, though.

One thing I'm thankful for: My Family. I'm going in today to work for one of my friends who lost her mother a few months back. She was heartbroken that she may miss Thanksgiving dinner with her family, so I offered to cover for her this afternoon/evening. Yes, that means me missing Thanksgiving dinner with my family, but I'm ok with that. Heading up to the beach Saturday, where I'll meet up with Mom, Dad, Sis, & Cuñado. And as much as I would like to be with my family today, I love that I can help facilitate a friend being with hers.

Me: I can't wait to see you!
KC: I can't wait for you to see me, too!

Um, yeah. My family can drive me crazy, but I love them no less!

Two: My Health. It wasn't that long ago that I couldn't really claim that. After 2 surgeries in 2006, I'm doing pretty damn well. I may have bumps, bruises, colds & whatnot, but I'm once again, overall, a healthy girl. I'm aware of this nearly every day - when I go to work, and attend to those who are not healthy. And at the end of my day, when I'm tired, & my feet hurt, I still give a little thanks to the fact that I *can* do all those things that wear me out!

Yes, the big things. My family & my health. Everything else is just gravy!!!

Squirrel Nuts!

So, I went up to the attic to get down a comforter I had in a Rubbermaid tote up there. I noticed that the lid wasn't on all the way when I went to haul it down from the attic, but I didn't think anything of it. When I got the tote down to the ground, I pulled back the lid, and noticed a nice little surprise... Seems like some kinda critter has been stashing his supply in with my comforter! ~~ There were a handful in there total, but I didn't get to photograph them all.. I ended up taking the whole thing outside and dumping it on the porch, because I was afraid of what *else* I might find when I dug. Thankfully, it was only nuts and whatever those green shavings are. Too funny.

Oh yeah, and from earlier tonight:
Mom: You know, you don't have to go to the beach, if you're stressed. I'll understand if you want to cut the trip short, or cancel it altogether.
Me: No, that's ok. I want to go to the beach. And believe me, If I get too stressed, well, I know where you keep your Valium!

Fatherly Wisdom

Someday I may take the time to share my previous history with Baltimore. But for now, I'm sure you can still appreciate the irony of this postcard... (which was sent to me back in 1992!)

Murderous M&C

I think the Mac & Cheese I ate last night is trying to kill me.

Notable Notary

So I was having some forms notarized today for the new job. Since it's a travel assignment, I'm doing everything long-distance. Most everything is faxed back & forth.. some originals are sent though. I go and have my I-9 with my DL & Soc Sec card notarized. Then she faxes the docs to my company. I go to pay for the service, and whip out my credit card... she says, "Ok, you're paying by credit card? Can I see some ID?" Um... anyone else see the irony in that shit?? Just wondering.

Rehab

It's not just an ironic Amy Winehouse hit song. Turned on the TV to veg out tonight, and found myself engrossed in part of an episode of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. I find it incredibly saddening to me - on so many different levels. I couldn't watch the episode in its entirety.

I watched one resident verbally abuse and demean a staff counselor. She was stoic through the entire interaction, then said, "You have a good night," without any surliness, and walked away. My heart ached for her in that instant. the abuse that care providers receive on a daily basis is unimaginable by anyone that hasn't been there. I've been kicked at, swung at, spit at, and yelled at more times than I could possibly count.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, because I've got so many thoughts firing around in my brain.

One: It saddens me how people's unacceptable behavior is completely accepted in a healthcare setting. Sick or not, defining limits is important. By not putting a stop to these behaviors, you are implicitly consenting that they are acceptable.

Two: Just once, I wish they would show the other side - the side residents/ patients don't see - the one wehre the caretaker says to a friend or family member, "I know he's sick, and I'm pretty sure it's not personal, but damn-it-to-hell, I am sick and tired of having crap flung at me like monkeys at the friggin' zoo!" Yeah, that's how it really goes. (Sometimes it's not that clean of language, though) We're not machines. We may hold it in for a while, but eventually a meltdown will occur in everyone.

Three: I have a friend that's a nurse who says that people should watch Celebrity Rehab - because it shows some of the gritty things that the public isn't aware of - cycles of abuse, stages of detox, etc. I see what she means, and on some level, I agree. Sad that it takes a washed-up celebrity to engage in reality TV to increase public awareness, but *shrug* who am I to complain?

Four: I have a friend that's a social worker here at the hospital. She sees so much, & cares so much. She fights for what is honest, humane & right. She fights red tape for people - and they have no idea the good she does for them. She is getting abused by the hospital.. by this system. The burnout of those who actually care is tragic in this field. She's wanting to leave. I will mourn the loss of her - she does more for my patients than they will ever know.

Five: Really a tangent on 4, but oh well. It's so sad to me that a social worker has to tell a doctor that he needs to tell his patients theat they are dying. Poor prognosis. Several weeks to live. He wants to put patient on expensive chemo. Tells the pt they'll be on "palliative chemo" with the possiblity of going to "curative chemo" next round. (All the while the charts say "poor prognosis") I don't understand why resources aren't better used keeping someone's last few weeks comfortable - rather than loading them up with expensive, painful, and futile treatments. Goes back to the whole fighting for what is right thing. Why must there always be battles? Maybe we need to include doctors & insurance companies in our multidisciplinary care meetings!

Fuck. Here I've gone and thrown myself on another rant. I'm not sure how I do this - but I do. It's one of my outlets. Rant over. Feeling better.

Chipper, Little Bastard!

You can totally tell where it's been "vacuumed" and where it hasn't!

Spent about 3 hours outside doing yardwork today, & I'm in love with my chipper more than ever! It's like a big fat vacuum cleaner that sucks up all the leaves & shreds them! There's only 2 things I don't really like about it: a) It's tricky to start- and I am 100% incapable of geting the engine to turn over. (That's Mr. Dad's job!) b) The bag gets full hella quick when you're dealing with the insane amount of leaves that I've got! But all in all, it's wonderful! I got a great deal on it. It's a $900 machine that I got brand new for $400. One of the best $400 I've spent. Last year I hand raked that shit. Never Again!!!

I had an obscure song in my head earlier tonight - I went & did some searching and found it on the web: Little Bastard by the Ass Ponys. (uploaded for the share!)

I'm putting this out there again: I'm STILL looking for a good copy of Jet, Jackie, & JC by LGS (aka Little Guilt Shrine)!!

Today I am Thankful For:

1. Friends I can say exactly what I think with.
2. Late-night phone chats w/Mo.
3. Portable heater fan
4. Leaves on the ground .. looks like golden carpets outside!
5. Flat-iron
6. The fact my hair goes curly again as soon as I wash it.
7. Mobile Email
8. Hoodies
9. My new Nikes
10. Leaving my job.

I <3 My Ugly Clothes!

Response to Michael Buckley's "Share Your Ugly Clothes" video.

Tune up for Me?

Every so often a car gets a tune-up. I guess today I got the medical equivalent. I feel like I've been poked and prodded from every angle today, and that's mostly because I have!!

I had my blood taken, had to pee in a cup, had my abdomen & chest palpated, and had my uterus scraped... and that was just on my FIRST appointment of the day!

Next I stopped at the tax assessors office. (That's just a virtual anal rape, but whatever!)

After that, I headed over to do my drug test for my new job. I didn't realize it, but I had to give both blood and urine. 3 vials of blood were drawn, and I peed in a cup once again!

Once I finished with my drug testing, I headed over to my primary physician for my physical so that I can get signed off for medical clearance at my new job. There I was poked & prodded some more. I had a PPD placed in my forearm by a girl that clearly had never done it before. Yet ANOTHER needle in me!

.. and then I headed to work! Went in and got my Flu shot. Then sat for nearly 4 hours showing that I'm competent on my skills. (They call it a "skills fair" but fairs are usually FUN things. This was anything BUT fun!)

Whatta day.

Workplace violence.

Jacked up thoughts on a jacked up day.

It's been a long time since I've wanted to go all violent on someone. But I had a patient that wore through every shred of patience and sanity I'd stored up. Even my "I'm quitting soon" attitude, I thought made me impervious to everything totally went out the window. This bitch threw her medicines in the morning. She shit all over the floor in the afternoon. She threw gobs of towels in the toilet, and backed up her plumbing system. She claimed to have one less lung than she actually had. (!! yes!) She complained about everyone. Mostly when it came to the complaints, I didn't care. But I was still ticked at the show she put on for everyone. Complaining about everybody! I offered to help her spell my name properly when the threatened to call administration on me.

3mg Dilaudid q4hrs. That's a nice little push. (Esp considering that goes along with regular doses of Xanax, Depakote, Vicodin, & Benadryl!) I diluted the Dilaudid in a 10ml syringe and gave it via slow IV push. She tried to "report" me. Saying I was HURTING her, because the Dilaudid doesn't work as well when I dilute it. (Yeah, it was a useless complaint, but it still added to my frustration!) I tried to fill out her MRI questionaire, and while i was asking her questions about possible metal in her body, she's sitting there polishing her nails. (grr) I asked her if she'd ever been a machinist or welder (part of the standardized sheet) and she said "I don't remember". Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I've ever been a welder. She even called to complain because when she asked for crackers, my tech brought her one pack.. she was mad because they were being stingy with the crackers. ::eyeroll::

I told my manager that I was going to punch this patient in the throat, and yank out her voicebox while my fist was inside her. To which my manager replied, "I think Patrick Swayze did that in Road House". Um, remind me to rent that movie! I'll need it should I ever have a night like tonight again.

I hate how we get treated by patients, and yet are expected to cater to their every whim. Last I checked, this is a HOSPITAL, not the HILTON. You start refusing medicines, and you start throwing pills and (literally) shit on the floor, you can leave. I truly am willing to help the sick, but the assholes, that abuse the system try my last nerves. When did people get so many damned "RIGHTS"?!? [/rant]

Dain Bramaged?

So, I had my phone interview today. And less than five minutes after I got off the phone with the interviewer, my recruiter called me.
Kr - "Um, did you have your interview yet?"
Me - "Yeah, I just got off the phone with her, like a couple minutes ago"
Kr - "Well, they've already sent you an offer. She says that she thinks you'll be a perfect fit!"

Wow. I was flattered, and torn all at the same time. The idea of going to Baltimore sounded great, but once I learned what I'd be doing, I wasn't 100% sure that's what I wanted to do. I'll be working on a brain-injury unit - a longer-term kind of inpatient rehab. My recruiter is awesome. I spoke with her for a while (honestly and candidly) regarding my reservations. I'm a med-surg kinda chick. I'm into acute care. I like starting IV's and repacking Wound Vacs. Long term brain damaged people aren't exactly my "type." We'd both decided that it'll either be a cakewalk, or.. well, 13 weeks... that has an end in sight. I said, "Oh heck, let's go for it." And so it was. I'm moving to Baltimore this time next month!

I know I'd been saying that I wanted to go somewhere cold for the winter, but there was still that tiny voice inside saying "What the hell is a California girl like you gonna do in a REAL winter?! You don't even know how to drive in the snow!" It's true. And I'm not sure how I'll handle it, but I'll figure something out. There's no turning back now.

Ps. I called KC to tell her. Her response? "A brain injury unit!? Cool! Maybe you'll be working with Dr. McDreamy!" Silly pissysue. I like your thinking though... lots of young professional single boys out that way.

Earthquake? Not exactly!

Millions of Americans experienced a strange phenomenon .. a strange rumbling in the ground, if you will. Expert seismologists have been unable to pinpoint the exact location, and effects have been felt worldwide. What was at first thought to have been a nationwide earthquake has finally been solved. ... It's the bodies of our racist, bigoted ancestors rolling in their graves! Congratulations, Barack on your victory! I look forward to January 20th even more, now!

The Tussin!

Today I opened up a bottle of wine that I'd been saving for a while. I made a penne pasta with a good organic red sauce for dinner, so I thought a red wine would go nicely. I half expected Mc Chris to jump outta the bottle - It tasted like Robitussin!! Ick! Note to self: Just because it's French and doesn't come in a box, does NOT mean it will taste well. From now on, I'm sticking to my policy of only buying wines that give some kind of flavor description. (And if cough syrup is anywhere in the description- that shit is staying on the shelf!)

Took mom to breakfast - it was nice - I rolled out of bed, changed my sweatpants for Jeans & threw on a beanie- and drove to M&D's to "kidnap" mom for breakfast. We really enjoyed each others' company. And IHOP.. dude they just do breakfasts right.

more, but i'm too tired to think or write.

Today I am Thankful For...

1. Beautiful trees
2. Rain
3. New cell phone!
4. Job prospects
5. IHOP breakfasts
6. Beanies (the hats)
7. Betsey Johnson perfume
8. Finding an old very sincere thank you note.
9. Hillbilly Hellcats (Timeless. Even after all these years, their album rocks!)
10. Down cushioned couch

NKOTB Still Rocks!

Random Church Sign #336

Random church sign #336: Jesus is calling, will you answer
Sorry, Jesus. I don't pay for caller ID. I'm screening all my calls, because too many freaks have my phone number. Please leave a message, and I'll either pick up, or call you back. Thanks!