Goal

Goal for today:
Finish ONE THING.
So many unfinished projects, piles in my house - ugh.
Got a LOT going on this week, so won't have time later.
MUST FINISH AT LEAST ONE THING TODAY.

Anal Bleaching

Yeah, that really exists. No joke; Google it.
I remember hearing about it back when I lived in LA, and thinking how gross. It came up in discussion last night at work. (God knows how we get onto these topics. I believe this one started with us talking about labiaplasties, and how we got onto THAT topic is anybody's guess.) So, on anal bleaching -- All I can think is who the hell looks at their asshole and thinks, "Wow, this is TOO DARK. Hmm, maybe I'll put some caustic chemicals on my anus to bleach it."

I also got to give credit to the people that get that done... because, seriously, of all the things you need to "make prettier" on yourself, if your anus is up on the top of the list, you must be pretty damn perfect. Freaks.

Awful Fussy

I love old people. They have no shame in what they say, especially when they're confused. I took care of the cutest little old guy this week. Two nights in a row, we pretty much had a variation on the same conversation -

It went a bit like this: I go to give his meds, and ask his name & birth date - then tell him we share the same birthday, but not the same year. Both nights, he laughs and tells me he doesn't think I'd be born the same year as him. He asks what year I was born in, and I ask what year he thinks I was born. (Hey, I may be setting myself up for a slam, but I have fun with these people!) First night, his response was 1948, the second night it was 1943. Both times, I laugh and ask him how old he thinks I am. First night, he said "about thirty." Second night, he said, "I don't know, about 18?" I laughed and told him, "I like you!" He responded with a laugh, and said, "Well, I must've said something right, then!"

On night two, I had to stay and help him get out of bed to pee. Our conversation continued and went a little like this:
Him: What's your husband do?
Me: What husband?
Him: [shocked look on his face] You don't have a husband!? Why not?
Me: [shrug] Just haven't found the right one yet.
Him: Well, you must be awful fussy.
Me: [chuckle] I guess so. Weren't you when you were picking your wife?
Him: [scrunches up face] NO!!!!

Seriously, I could just eat the guy up, he was so cute.

Help - My Toe is Missing!

Ok, not really, but... I had this patient come in to the hospital with that problem. It was a bad night, and I was super busy, so I wasn't really looking forward to ANOTHER admission. The ED faxed the paperwork to our floor before the patient came up, and his reason for admission was just staring out at me in bold caps like some sort of bad joke:

"PATIENT HAD SURGERY ON R GREAT TOE 2 WEEKS AGO. REALIZED TODAY THAT TOE WAS MISSING."

What!?! That's not exactly what happened, but that's exactly what they wrote. And in a way, the toe DID fall off, but that's another story. I often say "We laugh so we don't cry," and this little number prevented me from a few tears. Even the patient's surgeon got a chuckle out of that one.. I'm sure he needed a laugh, too.

Ramblings

So overdue for a post... haven't written anything in a long while. Neglecting writing altogether, not just on the blog, and I'm feeling out of touch in that respect.

And, of course, my head has been too full for too long. I realize that writing can sort out the fuzziness, quiet the incessant thoughts by just giving voice to them -- Those feelings that are just circling, usually just shy of consciousness. Some thoughts that've been plaguing me - in random short bursts. Numbered, but no particular order:

1. I know I've got mad nursing skills, and I'm very confident in my abilities, but it still makes me a little nervous when I'm the most experienced nurse on the unit.

2. I've got a nurse friend that's going to die soon. She's a damn good nurse. Not everybody got along with her, but I did. Need to make a point to say goodbye before it's really goodbye. Last year a nurse that was a mentor to me died - I didn't even know she was sick until after she was gone. She didn't tell many people, and she holed herself in, not letting anybody see her or help take care of her. We nurses are a self-reliant stubborn bunch. We aren't supposed to be sick, let alone die. We are the ones that save others' lives. We fix everybody.

3. Am I the only person that loves both country music and New Wave/ post-punk? I might be.

4. I'm very happy single, but I'm sure things could be better. Love is wonderful. I wonder if I'll ever find someone. I'm staunchly opposed to just settling with someone if there is no magic. I haven't even felt an iota of that certain je ne sais in ages. One could say I'm painting myself into this corner, but I'm still open to possibilities --- just not reaching for them lately.

5. I haven't had a solid 8hrs of uninterrupted sleep in I don't even KNOW how long.... Even when I have the opportunity. At the most, I can make about 5, and I've been feeling constantly sleep deprived. Tried Melatonin for the first time 2 weeks ago. I slept... A LOT. Grand total of about 14hrs. It wasn't uninterrupted, and i'm not sure how rested I really felt .... I woke up a few times from people calling, or knocking on the door, and went right back to sleep. I woke in a fog, and my back sure hurt from laying down for that long.

6. I'm thankful for my longtime friends that know and appreciate my true introverted nature... They allow me to live under rocks for weeks and months at a time, and come out to play every once in a while. Because I'm NOT shy, I lack a brain-to mouth filter, and I have no social awkwardness, people think I'm an extrovert... I'm so not. I'm a happy homebody that cherishes time alone. I am wary/ distrustful of people that don't enjoy being alone with themselves. If you're not good enough company for yourself, why would I want to hang around you?