Pierced Girl

Singing to myself,
a tune of strawberry patches and
faeries with effervescent wings,

I back down the driveway,
careful not to run down
precious woodland critters.

Moist warm clouds on my breath,
I push back a stray curl,
and think of the pierced girl
who said, "But it's fun to
watch 'em bleed."

The Boob Tube

Since I've been out of school, I've found myself more in love with TV than ever. I don't know where the hell it came from - mostly a craving for mindless entertainment, I suppose. I've been on mental stimulation overload: stress, feeling unwell, & of course, school facts floating in the head. So I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit just how many shows I'm watching regularly:

Prison Break
Top Chef
Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
House
The Class
Real World
Boston Legal
Ace of Cakes
I Love New York*
The White Rapper Show*

*ok, totally embarrassed to admit these ones have drawn me in!

What can I say? *shrug* TV is just fun right now. I didn't used to be so interested in tv - rarely watched it, actually. It serves its purpose. I'll never be the pretentious person who states "I never watch TV." You know the folks: those with the accent of arrogance dripping in their voice. Hell, I used to work for the cable company. I had like 500 channels quite literally at my fingertips. It didn't much interest me back then; right now it does.

Clumsiness

So, last night, went out with Kara & the girls. It was Monica's birthday, and she wanted to go to Coyote Joe's. I'm not 100% sure I liked the place, but I did like that it wasn't a meat market.. and heck, with a great group of people, you could have fun anywhere! They could make the DMV fun.

Still waiting for my paperwork to be processed, so no idea when I can take the NCLEX. It's getting frustrating. All my paperwork has gone through, but the stuff from my school has not. The school sent all my papers to NC board of nursing, even though I requested SC (eyeroll). I know I'm not in a "race" to take the exams, and I have to stop and think about how I've had a LOT go on since graduation, but still... I'm anxious to get this over with.

I have a bunch of stuff on my mind that I want to type out, but ... well, clumsy me slipped & fell on the stairs tonight, (just the last 2, thank God) so my knees & wrists are hurting pretty good, and typing is not the most comfortable thing. This is not the first time I've slid & fell down the stairs... and it's no wonder I'm *always* paranoid when I go down them.

Speaking of clumsy - need to remember to write about clumsiness & Coyote Joes next time...

Wiki Wacky Woo!

Wow... The infamous Wiki Wacky Woo. Almost giving me flashbacks!

http://daviswiki.org/WikiWackyWoo

Yes, I was one of the "lucky" ones who was initiated into that club when I turned 21. All I really remember is I was with "the Ex-Mex", (if you don't know, don't ask) and Gerald, our roommate at the time. We drove up to Davis in my car... They were trying to pick out the "ultimate" drink for me, for my first legal weekend drinking. The bartender, and half the crowd at the bar suggested I get the Wicki Wacky Woo...

I remember watching the bartender pour all the clear liquors they had into this freakin beer glass. It was a whole beer glass full of hard liquor! I don't remember there being as much juice as the recipe listed lol, because there was something in it, and that disappeared quickly, and then I was drinking a glass full of ice and clear liquor. I didn't want to finish it, but they made me finish the whole thing. It tasted like something that should've been coming UP instead of going down - bleh.

But in looking at what the drink was created for, it was highly effective. When we went to leave, I staggered to the curb, and kinda landed/flopped on the hood of my car, because I wasn't coordinated enough to step off the curb in my heels, and then open the door. What a mess!

Thankfully, that was my one and only experience with the WWW!

Yay for a Tiny Uterus

So, according to the doc my uterus is "teeny-tiny".
This is great news... really.
I've gotten the go 'head to do whatever I want now -
baths, tampons, work, exercise, intercourse...
and this makes me so very happy!

Total PMS

Chocolate dipped Mothers' Animal cookies.

If this isn't PMS, I don't know what is!

On Recovery & Denial

So here's the thing - I'm going through both.

Still recovering from my abdominal myomectomy, which was exactly a month ago today. And in many, many ways I've been in denial about it - even before the operation.

My bleeding was alleviated greatly after my first surgery in August, but the relief wasnt total, and its effects were not permanent. I bled. A lot. Extremely anemic, I experienced dizzy spells, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, extreme fatigue, and so on... just from the anemia. My concentration levels sucked, and instead of being an active participant in my life and what was going on around me, I mostly just floated in a haze from day to day. Things were bad, and deep down, I knew it, but I was in denial. And denial was an effective coping mechanism for some time. I knew I'd need this second surgery - my Dr & I talked about it in September. I told him I absolutely needed to put it off until graduation, and he said that would be fine.

And so it began. But things got worse for me. My dizzy spells & heart palpitations grew more frequent. I truly worried getting behind the wheel - afraid i might hurt someone if I passed out or got too dizzy. So, I went to my primary doctor about my dizzy spells & fatigue. We already knew I was anemic, as my GYN regularly checks my HgB levels. The thing we didn't know was how anemic I was... My ferritin levels were ZERO. I had no iron reserves in my body whatsoever. I'd been bleeding so much for so long that all of my reserves were depleted, and any iron I took in was used right away in making new red blood cells.

I was immediately put on large iron supplementation, and told to return for regular blood draws to check for improvement. My next visit, a few weeks later, I felt a little better but still pretty awful. My ferritin was like 7 by then. (Normal is 20-150, and even on the low end of normal, you're considered anemic!) My Dr decided I needed to double the iron I was already taking, because though there was improvement, it wasn't enough to keep me out of the red zone. I asked her, concerned, about iron toxicity. She chuckled and said that for me, it'd be practically impossible.

Things got better, but still not good. Of course, I continued to tell myself I was "better". I was juggling work, classes, school clinical rotations, and my volunteer hours. The heart palpitations and shortness of breath were less frequent (The extreme fatigue always remained)

*A reader's digest lesson in physiology for those that aren't "in the know":
Your red blood cells are responsible for carrying oxygen through your blood to your tissues, organs, etc. So, not having enough RBC's means your body is deprived of the oxygen it needs.. even if you are taking nice deep breaths, your body can't use the O2 because it has no way of getting it to the tissues! Iron is a key ingredient needed to create RBC's, which is why iron levels are so vital to check in anemic patients.

Flatulence, Drugs, & "Waldo"

I've realized it's really funny when your own mother farts. Like ripe huge ones. Took Mamacita for her colonoscopy yesterday morning. After the procedure, they sent me back. The nurse said, "I need two things: I need her to start waking up, and I need her to pass gas before she can go."

So I woke mom up. Little disoriented. Pleasantly happy. Asked her if she could fart; told her she needed to before we could go. She looked at me for a second, like she was really concentrating on what I was saying, then ripped one. And then said, "Now, can I go home?"

She continued with the ginormous farts for the next 10 minutes, each time saying, "Now can I go?" "How many more times do I have to do it before I can go?" And my favorite: "Well, here's what I have to say about that.... (*insert huge fart sound here)!" Ah yes, versed & gas. I'm going to be sure to be in town to take mom on her next colonoscopy!

My incison is itching (internally) plus hair is growing back. Hard to get comfortable. Ah, my friend diphenhydramine. Pulled you out of the medicine cabinet today. Stayed up all night - coudn't get comfortable. Will surely get some rest now!

Decided Tuesday that I'm going to name my incision. (This after deciding last weekend I was gonna name my tumor: Audrey II, after the man-eating blood loving plant from Little Shop of Horrors) So, my incision, I'm affectionately caling "Waldo." You guessed it... pretty soon, you'll all be saying, "Where's Waldo?" And you'll ony see it if you look really closely.

That pill is kicking in..... sleepytime.