Good Fort Building Material!

News flash: It's official:
There is such thing as too many pillows.

I don't take up much space in bed, so I have plenty of room for stuff like pillows. So when I couldn't even fit on the bed to sleep without kicking some of them off, you know there's a LOT. I had pulled all the pillows off my big chair and couch while I was cleaning. Piled 'em up on the bed. There's a virtual poly-fill mountain here! I don't know how many there are in total... I'm afraid to find out! My guess is probably around 14.

But it seems like a zillion. And somewhere at the base of said Poly-Fill Mountain is a big fat down comforter contributing to the bulk. Oh to be seven again! This is some good fort-building material here!!

Thurday

Thursday -
Middle of July

Billie sings and swings
with her smoky voice.

The cicadas are off-key
Heat & humidity rising
Swimming pool beckons,
smells of magnolias
and chlorine tantalize.

But I stay on the porch
craving an icy beer,
drinking iced tea instead, and
attempting
to maintain
focus on my homework.

Stream 7/26

** I got Thursday clinical! Yay! This semester they changed Adult Nsg from having 2 clinical days to one really long one. I think the hospital gets overwhelmed with students all being there at the same time. Over the summer, 50+ students all on the maternity floor got to be crazy. (That's not counting the senior students with maternity preceptors!)

Thursday clinical means I can still keep my weekend work schedule while going to school! I'm excited about this, but still a bit worried about a 10-hour clinical. Hey, I work 12 hour shifts no problem, but clinicals drain me. At the end of the day my brain is completely fried, and I often forget the basic things. Ask Sharon... one day, I got to the elevators at the parking garage, and pulled out the remote to my car keys. I swear, I pushed the unlock button on my car keys, somehow thinking that would make the elevator doors open!! (shaking head, yeah, it gets ugly sometimes!)

** Since I took psych this summer, my fall schedule is looking better than I expected. I'm only taking 13 units. (whew!) This psych class is crazy! The professor knows his stuff, but he is completely scatterbrained. Sometimes I wonder about him. Sometimes he forgets basic functions. I can't tell you how long he spends setting up his projector or the VCR each class session. (usually a good 20 minutes is devoted to electronic issues each class!!) I understand after talking about my incident at the elevator it's like "hey pot, this is kettle:" .. but trust me - I pale in comparison!!

He called me Kenya on Friday. As in the country. He's gotten my name right plenty of other times before, so I'm not sure where Kenya stems from. It would normally just slip right by me (hey I'm used to people messing up my name!) but since nobody ever shows up to our class, it's downright intimate. Seriously, we average about 15 people or so that actually show up each week. And of those, there's probably only 8 of us that show up consistently. As Ron White says, "We've met".

I think people are generally protective of their name. They should be - it's their identity. It's the first thing you offer when you meet someone new. (Ah, a rose by any other name.. BS! Just ask anyone with a messed up name!) Most people feel slighted when called by a different name, and I completely understand.

Ok, and while I'm talking about Psych (oh the tangents!) I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass this class. Please tell me what the point is of even studying for exams when the professor keeps throwing his own questions out? On the last test he wrote many questions ambiguously. There were 40 questions, and he threw out 17 of them. (SEVENTEEN!!) He threw out any question that over 25% of the class got wrong. He said that either he worded them poorly (on some he did) or they were just plain "too hard" if that many people got them wrong. (!?!?) He gave points if you still got them right. So I ended up with 120%. Yeah, you read that right. Ok so Friday's test: 50 questions, but it was only out of 40. He said he will "take it out of your 40 best". So you can miss 10 questions and still get 100%. Not that I'm complaining but, WHAT the HELL?!? I just don't understand sometimes.

** Pulled out the Clairol on Thursday morning. Red again. In the past few months I've gone au naturelle and I've forgotten how much more comfortable I feel with red hair. Heck I've got the green eyes, pale skin & the Irish heritage, why not!?

** Got my physiology final tonight. Was looking through old material from the beginning of the semester, and half of it I don't even recognize. I wonder who the heck it was taking those notes in class, because I don't even remember writing half of those words. Been reviewing most of the day yesterday and in the wee hours this morning.

I decided around 7am to bake a cake. ... It just seemed like a good distraction! And then I made frosting. And then with the leftover frosting, I made a bit of colored icing, and put that on the cake too. (shaking head) The whole thing took about an hour. I really should have taken my time and let the cake cool. My icing melted, and is dripping down the cake like wax as I type this. (maybe I'll post a picture). Ah, but it smells good, and I'm sure it'll taste good. And it served its purpose as a distraction - it was much more enjoyable than trying to remember all the functions of Ribosomes, Lysosomes, & the Golgi Apparatus!!!!

** Ok writing all this was distraction #2 for the morning, and it is time to get back to the Golgi, and all the other little cellular lovelies!!

Unconscious Mutterings 7/25

1. Believing:: aliens?
2. Invasion::of the bodysnatchers
3. Boys:: that song Girls & Boys (for those that don't know it, it goes kinda like this: "Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys...")
4. Island:: Palm Trees
5. Repeatedly:: Strike
6. Normal:: Vision
7. Hex:: binary code
8. Tuxedo:: Black Tie
9. Virgin:: Records, megastore
10. Cereal:: Breakfast (and lunch and dinner!) of champions

word list provided by Unconscious Mutterings.

And Elderlies are like Children...

Something to be said about the elderly. I really do love old people! I've had plenty of people express fear of the elderly to me. Personally, I can't relate. I think they're my favorite kind of people!

"Children are innocent, yeah
teenagers fucked up in the head.
Adults are even more fucked up
and elderlies are like children"

There's something pure in spirit with an old person. They've lived, they've esperienced, and often have fascinating insights we young people don't stop to learn. We often, as a culture, dismiss the elderly - assume senility. And while this, to an extent, is common, we dismiss even their most lucid observations and commentaries.

I had the most pleasant experience of being sitter for 8 hours with a woman in her late 80's. Now sitting is usually a painfully dull task. The concensus with the techs throughout the hospital is that time would be much better spent doing something more productive than sitting in one room all night playing babysitter. I've had more than my share of sitting, and while its usually a challenge to fight boredom & stay awake all night, it doesn't really bother me. (Maybe I'm just lucky... I've still yet to be kicked, bitten, or spit at!)

So back to m'lady. I'm not going to delve into her personal story, but I will say she really didn't need a sitter. Since the doctor ordered one, though, we were under obligation. Sh wasn't happy about this; it truly saddened her that shw was not trusted to be in her room alone. We still can't see why the doctor ordered it, but foul play involving a family member speaking on her behalf may be involved. (Again, people dismiss so much of what the elderly say!)

So, I let m'lady know that we didn't think she was "nuts". (her word, not mine!) Poor thing - she thought her sitters were here 24/7 to observe her every action to see if she was mentally unstable!!

She spent almost an hour talking to mbe about herself & her sticky situation. (I may not come off as such, but yes, I can be quite the bleeding heart!) So anyway, at one point she stopped and looked at me right into my eyes and asked me if I loved my grandmother. That's when I lost it. "Niagra Falls"... I had to get up and grab tissues! What got into me? I'll tell you. It wasn't the question; it was the honesty, the sincerely wanting to know... it was the way her eyes held onto mine waiting for an answer. It was her patience, when my eyes filled up with tears, not saying anything. She knew once I swallowed the lump in my throat that something meaningful was going to come out.

Yeah, I love old people! I wish our culture wasn't so quick to devalue the aged. We can learn a lot from them. Oh, and how the hell she came up with that question out of the blue was beyond me. I'd been thinking about my grandparents a LOT in the last week, andm issing the hell out of them. I guess the innocent pure spirits can sense these things!

... i'll come back and edit spelling and grammar, if need be, later. It's after 10am, and way past my bedtime... after all, I've still got to work tonight!

Oh Shit!

Internet-Free and Bursting with Flavor!

It happens every once in a while: sometimes the cable goes out…and leaves you stuck without an internet connection.

Today is one of those days. So – since people forget that there are other uses for a computer, here’s a list of things ways to waste your time on the computer sans internet.

1. Forget streaming music. Make your own playlist with all the crap you download!
   
2. Remember when computers were thought of as an expensive deck of cards? Solitaire is passé, and there’s no challenge. Check out Spider or Freecell!
   
3. Pull out your photo editor and stretch faces and draw mustaches on faces of photos. Save the files for later.. you might need them.
   
4. Watch all those .mpg & .avi files you’ve hoarded. Lord knows it’s been a while since you’ve seen the big fat lady beat her husband up with the kids laughing… You know the one, where the cop drives by and they stop for a second and the kids laugh, then the beatings return!
   
5. Open two music players, and play two kinds of music at the same time. Try something like Siouxie & the Banshees Cities in Dust mixed with John Lennon’s Imagine. Make a theme! Mix Patsy Cline’s Crazy with Tool’s Sober!
   
6. Read the notepad .nfo files that came with the illicit stuff you download.
   
7. Go into any Microsoft application and hit F1. Right click and choose Animate! Look at all the cool things your icon can do!
   
8. Selectively delete the cookies you don’t approve of. Leave the ones for sites you go back to.
   
9. Test/preview your screen savers… all of them. (Now that CRT’s are becoming a thing of the past, does anyone actually use these anymore?)
   
10. Write an entry for your blog, and save it to your hard drive for upload later.
    

And if all else fails, read your endocrinology that you’ve been procrastinating about!

Sigh, I really did just make this list up. It’s not from some email I’ve received. And yeah, I’ve done all of these things on this list at some point or another! Oh boy, when I read this over, I think to myself what a dull life I often lead!

Evolution in Action

Fascinating... Survival of the fittest!
Tuskless Elephants Evloving in China
Somewhere out there Darwin is rolling his eyes and saying duh!

I just love elephants, too. They're beautiful creatures. Rode one once when I was younger - a big hairly smelly thing named Tika. If you ever get the opportunity to ride an elephant, GO for it!

Sent home

Got sent home from work at 11pm last night. (No I didn't do anything wrong!) Census dropped low throughout the hospital, so they had nowhere to send me but home. So technically I'm "on call" until 7am, but I'm about as sure as Ivory is pure that I'm not getting called in. (Ha I cracked myself up! That Rhymed!)

"No more rhymes now, I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?"

We only had 9 patients on the floor, so I totally understand them sending me home, but my frustration just grows with the staffing. Not going there right now, though...

There's a patient that's got like everything. (MRSA, VO8**, E-Coli in urine, Hep B&C) She drives me crazy. Hits the call light asking me to "remove the dinner tray" from her room. Walks up and down the halls, goes out to smoke, gets into the patient kitchen area, and opens all the lunches just to eat the grapes. Hits the call light about every hour asking me to take her temperature because she thinks she's got a fever.. *Eyeroll* I could go on, but I'm better now.
**(means HIV+)

Venting = good release.

Unconscious Mutterings 7/14

1. Do-it-yourself:: Kit - ugh pressboard!
   
2. Pickpocket:: Mugging
   
3. Ballet:: Tchaikovsky
   
4. Resumé:: Dressing up
   
5. Phenom:: "do doo do doo" ... that Muppets song!
   
6. Love/Hate:: Relationships, war, mutual respect..
   
7. Unusual:: Cyndi Lauper
   
8. Intense:: primal
   
9. Interruption:: Cell phones
   
10. Not enough:: insatiable
    

Wow... where did these come from?! *scratching head* well, the rules are to write the first thing that comes to mind. Hope I spelled Tchaikovsky right, because I'm not about to change my answers. Something to be said for the immediacy of the responses.

I was looking over some of my old posts, and was taken aback by my last unconscious mutterings. The word was TYPE, and I put "A positive". WOW. Just think it funny that I've never known my own blood type until 2 days ago, and yet when it said TYPE, I chose that. (that's what motivated me to post another one) ... Then again, maybe it'll be akin to Professor Trelawney's tea leaves? (Harry Potter reference, for those of you lost on Trelawney... shaking head, I'm such a dork!)

word list provided by Unconscious Mutterings.

raindrops keep fallin'

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head - the instrumental piano is running on a continual loop in my brain! Not sure why, either. Must have heard it in the background on some Muzak-type thing. Who knows!

The more I'm studying abnormal psych, the more i'm beginning to think there's a category somewhere in the DSM for about everyone I know. We're all scorable!

Read in a blog that Harry Potter comes out this weekend. (Yay!) I reserved my copy weeks ago, and didn't even realize that it comes out so soon! Been looking forward to it ever since the last one, and never thought the release would finally come! Told Mr Dad he's going to have to read it first, since it might be a bit before I pick it up. (blast those textbooks!)

Actually started getting into and enjoying phys the last couple weeks. As the semester is drawing to a close, I guess I looked back and thought about all the hows and whys about so many things - and realized we really didn't learn much. No, I mean it. I could do the "Phospholipid Bilayer dance", but I'm still not sure the purpose Ca++ serves in the body! And all of a sudden it occurred to me: any other time, I'd be fascinated with this stuff. So I took it upon myself to be reading the hell out of my text. I mean, really, I'm probably going to need to know this stuff anyway! Well, I'm sure I could get away with NOT knowing it (a lot of nurses really don't know much about the ins & outs of what they're doing) but that's just not my style. Besides, science has always fascinated me. It answers the whys of the world.. (Never cared about the hows as much as I have the whys!)

My grades are not great. It's a total lack of application, undoubtedly. When I finish, I'll be able to get my BSN no prob, but I might preclude myself from further grad studies because of it. Not that I have grad school plans in sight.... I just hate to see those walls set up.

Still want to go to OU. Looked at their RN-BSN program, and think I could probably do it. I'll need a chem & I think a math class *groan*, but it wouldn't be beyond me. I'd love to be a Sooner!

One step at a time though, I know. ... this is all assuming I pass Micro this fall! (I have my fears!) I remember in animal biology like a hundred years ago, we spent like forever in front of the scopes (or behind them?) It was wicked, but I loved learning about it. Worked my ass off in that class for my C-. It was the lowest grade on any completed course I've ever taken. I'm still a bit upset that I didn't get a higher score, but it was one of my favorite classes!

Just more random mutterings, that's all.

Stratum Lucidum - I got thick skin.
... say what you will; I'd love to hear your comments!

Thought i'd post a recent picture, since the one on my profile is aging. This one is from just the other day:

Yes, that's me, with psych notes in hand. (Proof positive that it's possible to be both a beauty and a geek! j/k) No really though, thanks to Heather, I've fallen for that show. Thanks to the magic of DVR, I've caught all the episodes. Sad, though, because I think the editors had great footage to work with, and certain elements were really um... accentuated. Editing can change anything. I'll spare you from all the commentary (there's probably a million blogs about it out there!) but I'll tell you, as I watch it, I'm more and more impressed with Chuck! I think mamacita's got it right: he's not a geek, he's just very cerebral! (and cute too, but I digress)

Watched the finale/reunion show today, so it's on the brain. The editing was awful... but then again they edit based on what sells. Lord help me if I ever were to be on a reality show. I always did want to be on Jeopardy, but that's about it. (Ken Jennings would kick my ass, but I'd be honored to have shared the stage!)

I've yet to share music here on my blog ~ mostly on my website, or in my MP3 mailings. But I found this song - and I'm so dang proud of myself for being able to uncover it. (This took more than some Googling!) It's called Jet Jackie & JC. It's by a band called LGS (Little Guilt Shrine) from Sacramento. I thought to look for it because I've got quite a little Jackie Chan DVD collection going. Was thinking about it as I was staring at my DVDs yesterday...

I used to listen to the local music on the radio all the time - kinda miss the "Sounds of Sacramento" and the old Shawn & Jeff days... takes me right back! Don't hear much local stuff - or much from DJs for that matter! [No, I haven't fallen out of love with my ((XM))! Probably never will!] By the way, if anyone knows where I can buy LGS albums, email me! I can't seem to get my hands on a copy! (Long gone are the old local independently-produced albums of mine!)

Ok, random muttering has turned into another book... Last quick sputterings and then I'm gone:

• Go Lance! (Seven!!)
• Found this I had written in an old notebook, and decided to share... "The ceiling just above the tablesaw still bears my mark - I fell through last Thanksgiving while walking in the attic. I came out fine, but the ceiling didn't! Dad tried to piece the ceiling back, but the hole was just too big" .... that's all I wrote. Sometimes I really crack myself up. There's a lot of random things I just opened to an empty page and spewed about. I'll post them here and there.

though i should be studying

... i have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to subjects i'm not crazy about...

So, anyway, I read this poem by Billy Collins - called "Shoveling Snow With Buddha" and it kinda set me in a stupor. Sat and read a handful of his other works, and was moved by them.

Did you hear the one about the donkey?

Made tortilla chips from fresh tortillas after class. ("now baked, not fried!") Sat down with my cinnamony chips & a nice steaming cup of chai ... satiated.

Little headache growing. Wanted to see if it would go away on its own, but obviously it won't.

Parked myself in front of the DVD shelf and stared at them... about a million to choose from, and couldn't decide what to watch. Narrowed it down to 2: The Princess Bride or Donnie Darko. Staring at the movies (for god knows how long) unable to decide reminded me of the old Spanish story of the burro who couldn't decide whether he was hungry or thirsty. (shaking head, yeah, that's really the shit that goes on in my little cabeza) I'll have to find it and post it.

It isn't until I distracted myself to this soapbox that I decided: Donnie Darko. (That headache of mine must be my subconscious giant rabbit). Ibuprofen & DVD here we go...

A+ = Me!

No, that's not a grade... (sheesh, I wish!) That's A-pos, as in my blood type. We did blood typing in lab today. It seemed so 10th grade. Ha! Talk about role reversal... In 10th grade, we played with micropipettes & used gel-boxes to play with DNA. Now here I am in college, and we check blood types? It was fascinating, nevertheless.. got to see agglutination firsthand.

Promised myself if I was O-neg, I'd donate blood at every possible opportunity. I guess I get to be chicken a little bit longer. Funny, I don't think I'm chicken anymore though - maybe just not motivated enough to change... sad, too, because I wholeheartedly believe in organ & tissue donation.** Got no fear of needles anymore, really. They took so many dang samples & shots before I started the NSG program, but a 16-gauge to the AC may have me singing another tune!!!

**Yes, I am a donor. You can harvest whatever you want off me when I am gone. Turn me into a virtual pick 'n' pull! If someone can benefit from something I'm not going to need anymore, by all means, get that scalpel out! When I was a teenanger, I wanted to be a cadaver for med schools - a great way to give back to this world, I always thought. I heard they don't use them anymore. Well, whatever - but before you throw me in a box or burn me into bits, you'd best ensure you've done what you can with what I've got.

... you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but you might be able to get a mitral valve outta 'em!

There Goes the Neighborhood!

By the way, never did go into work last night. Talked to Kim, and she said "noooo, you have school in the morning!" (Gotta love Kim... toldja she was awesome!)

Anyway, woke up to go to school, and here's the view from the driveway... making way to clear the lots (Yes PLURAL) across the street. They're going to be building 3 houses across the street from us.. *sigh* Like I said, "there goes the neighborhood!"

SNAFU!

Another scheduling error at the nursing office! This is becoming too common of an event!! I've been told to go home before because they didn't have me scheduled to come in until later. (WTF? ... hell no!) I told them this whole building is understaffed - FIND somewhere for me to work! (*giggle, yeah I really did!) You know, it would be one thing if my schedule is a strange one that changes a lot, but it's steady: Fri & Sat from 7pm to 7am. Don't know why that's so confusing.

This week, for some reason the nursing office has me scheduled to work today from 11p-7a, and to work tomorrow (who knows if its 7-7 or 11-7!). They don't have me even on the books for Saturday. I've been tempted to pick up E-shifts to get some extra $, and I'm glad I haven't yet... God only knows what they'd have done to my schedule then!!!

I'm not even usually home on Thursdays... Tonight I had a phys class I didn't get to. The rain was so bad!! And when Erin called and said that the freeway was closed on my stretch up toward Charlotte, I just said forget it! So on any other Thursday, I wouldn't have even been home to get the call.

I feel bad, though, because I know it's not everyone's fault that it's all screwed up. (Don't know whose fault it is, to be honest). Ultimately it's the patients that suffer... so I told Kim (Charge nurse tonight - Kim's awesome!) that if she needs help I would come in. ((what the heck am I thinking?! The nursing office calls me and tells me I'm not at work when I'm "supposed to be" and then I reward them with coming in anyway!!)) But like I said, it's about the patients.

I pulled out the exercise ball and weights again last week, and let me tell you - it is the best. I started making a point to stretch out and clear my mind - if just for a couple moments - each day, and I feel so much better. Maybe it's all those positive endorphins that have got me rearing to go to work? ...well I gotta go now... I need to make sure my scrubs are clean.

*shaking head* what was i thinking? ...they better be nice to me when I get there!

Happy Birthday, America!

Well, it's Independence Day again. (I guess officially, it's over, but since i haven't slept yet, it doesn't count as the next day for me!) It seemed to be the day for barbeques and fireworks... but somehow I think people forget here what else it is... it's time to be thankful for how lucky we are to live in a democracy... how lucky I am, for example, to have this blog and say whatever the hell I want to on it. How lucky I am to be able to educate myself, and have a job and earn money that I can spend in a fashion that I desire... How lucky I am to have shoes on my feet, clothes on my back, and a pillow under my head.

I believe that too many people take freedom for granted. We are very lucky to be able to have a democratic government... and the power to choose our leaders. I'm sure I'll hit this one again in November, but I believe that all is lost if you don't follow your politics and vote responsibly! People that say their vote doesn't count truly don't understand the workings of our country - time to go back to government class.

I grew up in a town right outside Travis AFB, and am a daughter of two Air Force veterans. (Actually tried to join myself, but the military has a thing about enlisting people with asthma!) I take enormous pride in my country, and in those that protect my rights. I will not take either for granted. So this, being Independence Day, is a time to appreciate what it means to have your independence... thank a veteran; thank a soldier; thank god... BE THANKFUL.

Yes, have your barbeques and your fireworks. Please celebrate - yet understand what you are celebrating. We are in a war right now. There are many people out there who don't seem to realize, or seem to care just what we are battling for... we are battling to help allow others to have what so many of us take for granted every day. Do not take this great country for granted!

Don't wanna get used to it...

From the files... said I would post it. This actually happened on my June 4/ June 5 shift.

I just had the unfortunate experience of having my first and second death in one shift this past weekend. (one at the beginning and one at the end of the shift) I can completely relate to the "dealing with it" stage. Thoughts of it just sort of linger, and I'm still not sure what to make of it.

The first patient I had not met before. She had an intracranial bleed, and came up several hours earlier for comfort measures only. Her entire family was in the room, spending the last moments with her. Everything seemed peaceful, and her family seemed quite relieved when all was said and done and they left the room. I had just begun my shift and was lucky enough that one of the techs (a fellow nursing student) with some experience in deaths stayed to help me.

Because I hadn't seen the patient until she had passed, there was an eerie detatchment with the whole thing... full of concern, but yet no personal experience with the patient to really put me in grief. (Hard to explain - I hope that didn't come out wrong) This woman seemed to have a wonderful family, and was very lucky to pass in such a peaceful manner. The tech that stayed to help me is considering going into hospice, and I couldn't have had a better person show me what to do. Every aspect of the patient's passing was full of dignity and respect.

About 10 or 11 hours later, towards the close of my shift, I started to pick up vital signs to help out the day crew coming in. (We always try to help the next shift when we can!) I heard one of my patients coughing like she was choking up something. (She had been alternating between delerious & comatose - I've never seen her A&O) Well she was fairly comatose... but breathing ok. She had stuff coming out of her mouth that looked white & chunky. I stuck a gloved finger in there, and pulled out a bunch of stuff. I went to get some Toothettes, and stopped at the nurses' station to let the nurse know I grabbed a whole bag for her room, and that we need to probably be giving better oral care on her. When I got back into her room, I moistened a Toothette, and stuck it in her mouth to clean it.

.... that's when I noticed her tongue didn't react ... and saw that she wasn't breathing. She was a DNR, so I ran back to the nurse's station and told her nurse that she wasn't breathing. Two of the nurses came running back to check. One came with the "crash cart" and after listening with the stethoscope, they connected the leads to confirm. It was absolutely awful.

The patient's 60-something daughter was asleep in the room with her. We woke her to tell her, and she freaked out. She left from the room (on the 3rd floor) and went outside to go smoke.... then came back upstairs and told us we had to recussitate her mom... saying "They told me we could change our mind on the DNR... you need to recussitate her!!!" by then it had been to late for us to do anything - even if we could.

The second patient's passing probably would have been ok with me had it not been for her daughter - who did not stop her tirade for almost 2 hours. It was really sad, because we all knew that in her condition, death was inevitable... her mom looked very peaceful, and had not been in any pain for some time.

Again, the whole thing lingered. It wasn't until I got in the car on the way home that I started to get teary eyed. I talked to my dad.. told him I needed a hug... and told him why. He gave me a half-hearted arm around the shoulder, and told me "You're going to have to get used to this in your profession. These things happen" ... that hurt. I took a long hot shower, and cried. I don't ever want to "get used" to people dying on me.

The second patient died on her birthday... and for some reason all I could think about later that day was Mark Twain, who was born during Haley's Comet, and died on his birthday... during Haley's Comet. I don't know why that came to mind - but it did.