Earthquake? Not exactly!

Millions of Americans experienced a strange phenomenon .. a strange rumbling in the ground, if you will. Expert seismologists have been unable to pinpoint the exact location, and effects have been felt worldwide. What was at first thought to have been a nationwide earthquake has finally been solved. ... It's the bodies of our racist, bigoted ancestors rolling in their graves! Congratulations, Barack on your victory! I look forward to January 20th even more, now!